all in all I'd have to say that this summer was a great one
I'd give it an 8
it all started with Daana's birthday and getting her roasted :D
followed with days of liming and hanging out
the rally was cool, and all the surrounding stuff
I guess I learnt alot about myself and what I can tolerate and don't like and that's always good
I was pretty good with my skirt philosphy
wearing skirts 80%-95% of the time

guy:don't you think if you and I had a baby it would be beautiful

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THAT FELLA

I feel that people, caribbean men particularly taking this sowing the wild oats a step too far

they wanna have a child for fun
to see if it would be cute

I mean a baby is not a simple thing
and can you imagine the emotional scars that child could be aflicted with
I mean props to women and men who raise children alone
but lord children can pick up on the slightest thing
it would not be pleasant to know you were conceived "just to see how you look"

ok so school registration for me is on Wednesday
and I'm really looking forward to having to go to classes

its hard to explain but when I have a blank notebook, and I can fill it up with notes and information over the course of three months I just feel really accomplished and cool
and looking back at my notes I just feel so proud I love it

I love learning
love going to classes and reading books and filling up with information
if I could get paid to study, like do independent studies or something that would be great

****
today I went to the beach
with my home girl Daana
I've been beaching it every other day with someone or the other and its great
even tho I'm still car less the fact that I have friends who decide to call me and say, I'm going to the beach wanna come? is just great

anyway so we're in the water
and listen to me
some damn worm looking like thing that LOOKED like a pine needle swirled itself around Daana's finger
and lemme tell ya
I was out of that water so fast!
I didn't even wit to make sure I saw what I thought I saw

I know the sea is full of a whole bunch of crap that we don't know about
and I keep expecting to see a giant fin come out from no where

the beach today was brilliant tho, worm creature aside
the sea was shallow and Crystal clear
and not too cold
it was TERRIBLY hot today tho
I mean I don't sweat and I was sweating buckets
so you'd understand

*****
this weekend I was privy to some "guy talk"
I have to tell you I felt really priviliged to be a part of the conversation even if I had nothing to contribute
the topic of discussion was who is on their "list"
now let me explain
the list is a list of past gfriends that are off limits for the rest of the "men" [have to use the lingo]
and in the deliverance of said lists, some of the guys were explaining why that particular girl would be "damaged goods" if any of the men "risked" at her

*hehe*

for myself I don't really think I have a "list" per se becuz I was thinking about it
I don't REALLY think that there's anyone I would perceive as damaged goods if say my friends were to start talking to them
but then again I dunno

what does that mean tho
does that mean that I've killed my emotions for those fellas?

sometimes I feel like my emotional side is gone
I get momentary lapses when its like some kinda hormonal imbalance
but generally I'm not bothered not upset not jealous *too much*

but when I do let it bother me its the worse feeling in the world

******
I have come to realise that men can have mood swings with symptoms damn near to drug overdoses

****


the bane of my existence
and I don't even think that he knows he has this kinda effect
sometimes I feel like its like a romance novel
you know bare your soul and reap the rewards
UNFORTUNATELY I'm too much of a cynic and I think that inevitably
if I let my guard down too much
he will do some shite to fuck it up
and that is when its going to hurt the most
so I'm cool with us being friends
I'm such a chicken :(