for right now I feel like something or rather someone is lacking in my life
its hard to put a finger on how I'm feeling
and even harder to figure out how to make it stop
but its like I'm sitting down just watching life pass me by (sounds like lyrics yes I know)
and any attempt I have to try to get up and join in
its like something inside me is like ahhhhh Lani just chill nuh
and when I do say nah I doing something today.....its like everything is against me

the law library ain't see me at all this semester
time winding down til exams
got this international moot to prepare for

things just piling up and I can see them piling up
but I really just don't care

*******

you ever do something and just the second you did it think to your self
wait I was on drugs just now??

so I was goal keeping today
I was kinda impressed with myself
my grandpa was a goalkeeper when he was in his 20's
he had a nickname
mosquito
hehe

.............................

you know there's nothing more exhilirating than spending time with someone that you like
I mean real like
its been a while since I could do that

all that first kiss jazz
:)
its great

not that that has been happening for me
I just reminiscing

I like snuggling up with fellas (not just any fella) but a guy you like
I like how guys smell
when they put their arm around you

not for any reason
you could just be talking in a group and they put their arm around you just becuz
its great

ahhhhh I wish I could meet my real man

so I replied to him
basically telling him about my grandpa's death and the effect it had on me
is still having on me

and I sent a pic

you know the man only responded

"still looking fine as ever"

wtf

I mean
thanks Trench
thanks for reminding me that YOU are NOT the man for me

I sorry
I am not being picky but the right man for me would KNOW that giving me a compliment (that I don't need) when I talking about something important to me
is NOT the way to go with me

the Real Man would ask me if I'm ok, if I wanted to talk about it, and would know when to back off!

is that too much to ask?

is it too much to ask that a guy be a teensy weensy bit original too?

I tell ya
more and more I'm realising that originality in men is very scarce

OH real man.....I know you're out there somewhere
probably saying where are all the real women?
where are the girls who have a sense of humour and sense of morals
who can dress up nice on a Saturday, but still go play football with the men on Sunday
the women who are multi-faceted and got their shit together!!!!

it's ok babes
we gine link up in a while I promise

:)

so today is Trench's bday
and as much as I'd like to be like frig him and not even remember
I can't do that
I still remember all my ex's birthdays........
anyway so I wrote him a very diplomatic email (not even a card)

hiya
just dropping you a line to wish you happy birthday
hope you're having a great day

tata

Lani

so then he replies
(short to uh?)

Thank you very much for the birthday wish. My mind ran on you the other
day. How are you doing? How is school? What is new? We are preparing for
another race this weekend. Came second in the first one to Gary Gregg.
Trying to beat him as he is on fire this year. Again thanks for the well
wishes... included a pic of what I look like now.. Not very different
from before..

Trench

ahhhhhhhhhh

bollocks!
I still feel a little odd..........getting a message from him
but whatever

moving on moving on

I never understand why pplz gotta lie
and lie stupid too you know
the thing is why would you want to make an enemy of a person that you just met?

every person you meet is an opportunity
but lord some pplz like they just don't get it

oh lord help me !
I don't know what I'm going to do

MY CAR RADIO IS BROKEN!!!!!

bejeesus

AYYYYYYY!!!

how will I survive??