right now I feel so empty I've never felt like this before
I stayd home
downloaded a whole set of songs
watched a romantic comedy
and basically wallowed in my miserableness

yay for me

so you hear the things people tell you
you'll be fine
you'll be ok
but you're never going to be ok until you make yourself ok

You're never happy completely either
you think you are
but you're not

you find things and people who make you momentarily happy for a little while
but that soon wears off
quickly
and its like that little bit of happiness carves into your chest and makes the cavern just that much bigger
so that when its gone
its just even more empty
and even darker
and damper
and the only things that can find any solice in there are the dark creatures that haunt you

so I am making a promise to myself
I refuse to get involved with any man emotionally ever again
I'm shutting myself off
CLOSED for stocktaking!!