its funny how life is
how when you think you don't have and then you realise you have more than enough

the last couple days I've been thinking about Trench
no matter what happened consequently I'd have to say the way things were between us was great
I can say except for the distance, and the possibility of not being able to trust him, that's how I want a relationship to be

I have a friend who's going thru some shit right now
his wife/soon to be ex-wife is a psycho
or at least that's his opinion
but the point is
I think that he should at least TRY one more time
I mean the things he told me about her
I have to say she is a little off her bat and the fact that he stayed with her so long is commendable
now what I don't get
is that women like that just make men think that all women are crazy
even King, his last girlfriend was crazy to hell
(again in his opinion)

but I maintain that people only act "crazy" when they are hurt

what is it about men that is just so how shall I put it .......
delicious?

I mean without trying to make this guy seem to amazing
**trust me I've learnt my lesson**
he just has this voice that you can't help but melt into
I swear the man could be saying "you want fries with that" and give me automatic p.s.
hehe

and then he's so straightforward I mean he tells me things about himself that most people wouldn't even say out loud

and he's just so sweet

and he just has enough of a wicked element to be yummy

lord
I still don't like men hear? they stupid and everything but this guy is just.............I dunno
ay!

sometimes the only thing you can say is
ARRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHH:SLKF"AIJVC"AKNVC"ALKJFAKVCNA:KCNAKJCAS"PCJAS"CIN

and even then that isn't what you meant to say

ok these were from an email and they were just hard, any one who wants it let me know and I'll send it to ya

Shouting obscenities at a girl just because she DIDN'T RESPOND to your, "Yo shorty", (when you're shorter than her), or your "Ma, Ma, Ma",(when you ain't her fuckin' son), or to "Damn! girl!" (when she's with her man),only makes you look EXTRA stupid. All that cursin' while she's walking away...you still think she's fine, nigga.

Girls can fuck you and keep it movin' too. Stop thinkin' that if you fuck with us we're gonna catch feelings. Ain't nobody thinking about you nigga. Our boyfriend was just acting up that week.

everyone has a few quirks that may turn you off
the key is
to find out these quirks
either before you like them too much
or look past them as you get to like them too much

*****

now people always make little promises
and I guess being a law student now I take promises to be a little more than just statements
if you make me a promise or a statement of intention
and I fucking rely on that statement!
that can be a binding contract!!

why do people do that?
uh?

cha!

so there's a new guy
let's call him King, can't really say too much about him right now other than I like talking to him

we're having an email relationship!
back and forth little messages
its cool

just what the doctor ordered really

*sigh* exam on Thursday it doesn't even feel like it!

getting to know someone is so invigorating
I think that is the best thing about life
whenever you meet someone (especially someone who is not a part of your "clique") its so refreshing to hear their viewpoints, the way they think about things everything

and when you meet someone, you have to spend some time really digesting their minds, taking it all in, as much as possible

its really great

I feel so frustrated
I feel miserable and snappy and REAL bitchy!
why?
I dunno why
just everyone is getting UNDER MY SKIN I could just scratch it off!
I hate feeling this way, even more so becuz I have no fucking clue why I'm so angry!

****
sometimes I feel like I just want someone to take care of me
someone who would just know exactly how I feel and know how to make me feel better
I know I should be doing it myself its for me to make myself feel better
but sometimes I just wish there was someone who would do it for me

I wonder if becuz I hadn't been in contact with my father in so long, if this is why I feel like this

I mean he's just a person to me, someone I call once in a while to let him know if I've done something really good. But other than that, nothing.

I've really been missing a male figure in my life, my grandfather is old and weak now, doesn't even remember me
I think I'm looking to men for the wrong reasons
I need to sort out my self before I can do anything else

out of boredom
I signed up for one of those online singles forums
now....I'm still closed for stocktaking HOWEVER I'm having a little experiment, what is it that people look for, I mean what is the priority
obviously its looks, that's the first thing, then personality
but I mean how do you really know you'll click with that person?
conversation....but what if it takes REALLY long to get to know the person?
what if you jump off the train too quickly?
they could have been the love of your life if you'd just been patient.....OR you could be wasting time with this low-life when the REAL love of your life is just watching you and shaking his head cuz he can't believe you'd be so into such a moron

I tell you my theory about coloured people would be essential right about now

*ahem* for those who don't know my theory of coloured people is that you have a kinda range,
say blue to yellow
there are purple people, red people, orange people, all kinda colours in this range.
now a yellow person is lets say a bad person, they lie, they are arrogant etc
so when I look at a person I can see what colour they are and then know IMMEDIATELY what type if person they are.

now once you are a yellow person, you don't stay that way forever, that's why they are a range, so if you try to change the error of your ways, your colour will reflect that
so on any given day you could be a different colour, multicoloured if you wanted

I mean imagine how much easier it would be if you could see into a person so easily?

I am going to fail my exams
too much work!
far too much to cram in
oh LORD help me pick the right topics
study them well enough and throw them all up on the exam paper!

PLEASE NO SUPPLEMENTALS!!!!

so I met this 21 year old
really motivated! very interesting to talk to
generally a great guy to talk to

but some how I don't think he's the right kinda guy for me
I'm not feeling that vibe..........now the IRONY is suppose he's the right kind of guy for me
but my brain is overpowering my heart, and telling myself I don't like him?

Is it wrong for me to not want to get too involved just so I can keep my options open?

Is that bad? I mean men do that all the time so why can't I?

I really don't think he's the right guy for me but he's real sweet
wonderful to talk to
:)

ok so I changed my mind about my date
he's still a great person yes
but I'm not into him
it was just me being me and falling into a guy just becuz

I have this knack for making a guy seem like a demi-god without even knowing I'm doing it
I internalise EVATING they say
digest every word they utter

I set them up to fall off the pedestle I put them on
its not their fault really
(but that could just be me overcompensating)

*sigh*

death is so final
I mean I know that sounds like commonsense
but we live in a world were that's FINAL never means that's it

think about it when you're diagnosed with some terminal illness doctors fight day and night to keep your frail body alive
they put you on life support
fill you with tubes
give you medicine to make you live
cut off things before you heaven forbid DIE!
and then lawyers, appeal and appeal and appeal a case after its been decided

don't we know that NO means NO
and when your time is up that's it??

it doesn't seem so

I went to the funeral
I went to the gravesite
I went to her house and when I heard auntie Jo speaking in a voice so close to hers
for ONE moment I wasn't freaked out
becuz CLEARLY that had to be auntie Betty
there was NO way she was dead
none at all

she cannot be dead!
I can't accept that
how could she be dead??
she can't be dead

Why auntie Betty? Why her? I feel so guilty for not going to see her when I had the chance

when I was in her house I felt certain she'd walk around the corner and be like "hey Lani what's up, how's school going? how the boys treating you"

but she didn't and she won't

I just am so lost right now I don't understand why

exams in 16 days
god help me!
6 100% courses!!!

sometimes there are so many things on my mind I can't figure out what I want to blog
its true I can write pretty much anything here
and you guys have to read it !!!
heheheheheheh
there's a little bit of power in that idiocy!

I went to see Love Actually again
*sigh*
that is what I want
I want what Sam had for Joanna
I want a guy to work hard for me
learn an instrument or something
:)
hehe
looking back I've been the one who approached my fellas
so maybe I need to just lay back
relax and let a guy come to me
hehehehehe
a guy like KARL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yummy

****

I met a fella the other day, who didn't believe me when I told him I was single

I have nothing to say to that

he thinks I was lying to him now why would I lie to a stranger first things first
and second why would I lie to a stranger

its so funny how people assume things of you/other people
and can be so completely wrong

I have to admit I'm so guilty of that too
I wish I didn't do that
its such a bad thing for anyone to do

well yesterday was a day of highs and lows
one of the most awful being that my aunt who was only recently diagnosed with breast cancer (like 3 weeks ago) died yesterday
we're not sure if it was the cancer she succumbed to or the medicine
my mum went to see her after her mastectomy on wednesday and she was in great spirits
in a great mood
and yesterday she died
and she was in alot of pain too
agony
I dunno really what life is really about sometimes

***

on another level, I went to see love actually
that is a GREAT movie that everyone should see
its a bunch of little stories......the best for me is the story about Sam (the CUTEST little boy I've ever seen) and Karl ( AY PAPI!) Rodrigo Santoro is OFFICIALLY my new soulmate
I am promising myself that I will not go out with any other man unless he is EXACTLY like Karl in the movie

I am OFFICIALLY becoming shallow
he must look like the delicious scrumptious Rodrigo Santoro
he must be gorgeously sweet as Karl was in the movie
LORD help me
if I ever cross his path
raspingy ! I gine throw him on the ground and say huh fuh dat!

****
once again I am astounded by men
I went to Cafe Sol and McBrides with a friend of mine
we were both dressed VERY casually
bummy would be an understatement
no make up
pretty much well covered
YET
all kinda men kept coming up to us and checking us out
so what IS it exactly that men are attracted to?
cuz we women just don't know

so I called trench
I think it was a kind of test for myself
I spoke to him and was ok
he mentioned he was coming to bim next year
what was he hinting

anyway I still care about his welfare, but I realise I don't care
does that make sense?

I maintain men tell lies!
all the time to themselves to their gfriends, wives, families
they can't help it

but I called and I was ok
my heart wasn't aching

why am I still pining over this asshole?
why do I get so involved in people so quickly and so easily

I think I'm sick and I need to get something cut out

:(

I'm torn between wanting to be single...actually needing to be single
and missing the comfort of a special person
I mean friends are great, but when you meet someone who literally touches your soul, friends kinda fall short, know what I mean?

I still am not completely over Trench
as much as I hate saying it
Its amazing how one person without even knowing it can touch you in such a phenomenal way, that when they stop you feel like your life is void of meaning

the terrible thing that I dreaded would happen happened, sorta.....cuz I'm still fighting it

but I'm kinda into my date. BUT I know that is just madness so I'm going to hold it down

he said something to me the other day, and I mean I swear the frigging moment was straight out of a romance novel
hehe
**picture this**
dinner on the deck of a restaurant, with a check table cloth
the waves caressing the underside of the deck,
music of Maxwell in the background....
the girl leans over and sighs resignedly,
"I'll never understand men, ever"
and the guy, leans forward and looks straight into the girls soul, and says
"now....(pregnant pause) why would you want to understand all men..becuz all men are different....what you really need to do is to understand ONE man, and once you understand that one man then you're fine"
angels singing in the background
hehe

I swear parts of life should be in slow motion, like how it is in music video's and movies, so for instance, when you first kiss someone, DEFINITELY in slow motion, with music in the background!
or when you see someone you like in the distance, and they see you, difinitely a slow motion moment
or (and this is a good one) when a guy you like, who likes you, smiles at you (one of those slow warm smiles) you know the kind.

AY!

I think if more men understood how awful a woman feels when she's been disappointed more men would try not to do that to a woman.

the opposite can of course be said for women!

but I'm working with the standpoint that I don't try to be dishonest with men and so therefore I don't fall into the category that cheating women fall into

I was talking with this guy who told me he used to have to be the one who the women in his family would turn to when something in their relationships went wrong

and becuz of that he's tried to be sensitive to women's needs and feelings
and I think that is commendable

so here is a cheers to all the men who are decent genuine men

the ones who try to be decent. the ones who are decent. and the ones who would like to be decent some day keep trying

I've been sitting here for the last however long, trying to think about what I want to write

I don't want to harp about my date, becuz that's the easiest way I will get caught up
and that is NOT something I wanna do

I am MAINTAINING my closed for stocktaking persona
I can't deal with the stress of it
I have well too much work to do
and I can't deal with it

so updating my dating escapade

(which I do not think affects my closed for stocktaking period btw)

anyway so we went to lunch
and checked out the colombian trade show which REALLY was just a whole bunch of made for tv appliances
tho it was cool just TOO many people
bumping into you!
anyway so this guy
is very nice very mature for his age, very very sweet
but at the same time I think wicked is the best word to describe him
**actually I have to admit I believe that a man, should be multi-faceted, have many sides to him, be sweet, and strong, and wicked, and just everything a guy could be, (can you hear the superman music in the back ground!)**

so anyway we conversed on a multitude of topics, everything under the sun, played pool, drank drinks, and you know what was cool, there wasn't really a feeling that he was trying to get in my pants or anything so, it was just cool.

so the other day
I went on a "date"
now first things first lets explain what a date is
a date....to my mind is going out somewhere, that you could go with a friend, but you go with someone you never met before
there MAY be some action but not necessarily and since I'm closed for stocktaking
no action


:D

ok so I know its been a while
but I needed some time to assimilate what all I was going to write
PLUS
there were some creepy pplz reading this for a bit (if you're reading this now you know who you are)
that I wanted to weed out
:)
hehehe
anyway not much has been going on
apparently I have a double on campus
she frequents the law library where my new home is
yes in case you pplz were trying to find me
I've moved permanent residence
LAW LIBRARY!

so anyway
pplz are like "wait you have a sister?" I swear if I had a dollar for everytime I heard that

you would think tho that since me and the girl get mistaken for each other so often we would speak
at least say hi

A GUY was coming up behind me to jump me and when I was like do I know you he just stared for about 10 minutes and was like uh nah
but you look like someone I know
thing is me and her are never in the same place at the same time
we don't speak to each other
nutting


so back in September I said I was closed for stocktaking
and now its November and I'm still closed
:D
I feel real accomplished
hehe
I realise more and more that I'm a people person
people to the extent that I need pplz to survive
and that is not so cool
so I think I'll enjoy my Lani time a little more
liming with friends and meeting pplz
just not getting caught up in anyone for a while
SAY til my law programme done
hehe
tata for now

I got a problem with Penelope Pittstop
is there ANY reason why she got to be SOOOOO fackin stupid???
My brother watches this RELIGIOUSLY
and the woman gets caught by some REAL elaborate guises but she STILL stupid
*sigh*!

right now I feel so empty I've never felt like this before
I stayd home
downloaded a whole set of songs
watched a romantic comedy
and basically wallowed in my miserableness

yay for me

so you hear the things people tell you
you'll be fine
you'll be ok
but you're never going to be ok until you make yourself ok

You're never happy completely either
you think you are
but you're not

you find things and people who make you momentarily happy for a little while
but that soon wears off
quickly
and its like that little bit of happiness carves into your chest and makes the cavern just that much bigger
so that when its gone
its just even more empty
and even darker
and damper
and the only things that can find any solice in there are the dark creatures that haunt you

so I am making a promise to myself
I refuse to get involved with any man emotionally ever again
I'm shutting myself off
CLOSED for stocktaking!!

what is up with men and this issue they have with clinginess?

the word clingy is like an all incompassing word that means what exactly
I don't even think men know
it was handed down from generation to fucking generation and now they just throw it around as simply as they say the L word

I don't know what to say
its been a while since I've been on this thing
I doubt if anyone really even reads my blogs anymore
but this is something i just had to get off my chest

why do men have this incessant need to be unfaithful?
I don't get it
I really don't
I mean I think I'm a nice girl
I'm intelligent, half-way decent looking
I don't think I'm alot of stress
but yet................almost all of my relationships ended because the male in the relationship was seemingly unsatisfied and had to sow his oats in some greener pasture some where
what the fuck is that?
and don't get me wrong but I abhor all forms of unfaithfulness
take for example so called "harmless" flirting
I just don't understand why you have to flirt with someone else when you have a perfectly good woman who cares about you
why is that?
I mean yes women do shite too
but I have to say on record that I have never cheated on any of my boyfriends
and I wouldn't want to
I don't understand I just can fucking understand
its getting to the point now where I have no faith in men at all
none
I expect that a man will cheat on me
I expect that he will lie to me
its to the point where I don't believe anything they say to me
and once a person lies to you
you never know when they were telling the truth and when they started lying

someone please help me to understand becuz I think that I'm fighting a losing battle here
and I just don't understand
I feel like I'm sinking under water and turning into a very sour, bitter, distrustful woman
I don't like it
I don't like it at all

so
I am in a quandry
I went to Jamaica

I had a Pulse (pulse is an agency in Jamtown) audition
in which I kicked some serious ass and they want me to come back in August (yay)


let me tell you
Trench is amazing
unbelievably amazing
and everything just went so smoothly it didn't feel we were rushing anything (even tho it was just for a couple days)
and his family like they love me and I love them too they are such wonderful people
but I dunno if I able to deal with the longdistance thing
I mean its hard!
and he of course is being a sweetheart
he's like I know what I want and I'm fully committed to seeing where this leads to
but you need to know if you'll be able to handle it
you need to know if you can live wiht being apart from me for most of the year
I don't want to make you miserable


thing is
I'll be fine
fine for most of the day and then I just start missing the man
REAL bad
and I call him
and he talks to me for a while then he's like well you should get off the phone
cuz its real expensive
and it is

right now he has alot of stress and it bugs me that I can't be there to help him out
however small

man I ain't know what to do
this fucking sucks!

sometimes I hate being a woman
its like you have to double check things in your brain before you can actually talk
women are enslaved by themselves
always worrying about what someone else thinks
and the few who don't get branded as bitches, slack, lesbian, and anything else bad
so much of my life has been spent holding my breath
afraid of what other pplz will think
will they hate me if I say this
or if I do this?

I have to admit as I got older I've wondered about what pplz think of me less and less
but every so often I have to wonder......
and then I worry
and its like my insides are crumbling
but my outside is fine (I HOPE)
*sigh*
the sexes are SO much more different than people realise

best line put on me
"kissing is all about personality, so far you're the best kisser I know, even tho we haven't kissed yet."

BOEK
:)

so Mr. Impressive, from back in May
had a fight with his woman/ex
and now looking for me
MEN I tell ya

on a brighter note
Trench is just amazing

Trench: If you were to ask me to come to Barbados
tomorrow and I could I would
Would not even worry about looking for a
place to stay or money to spend just as long as i could see you and that is the truth

Trench: Lani you do not have to do anything you do
not want to do what is natural please do not do anything as a result of me
saying or doing something just be yourself
... Trench: u get excited easily ?
yummy: I'm not telling you
Trench: yeah u do I can tell u are very sensual
[22:05:36] yummy: am I
[22:05:38] yummy: ?
Trench: as long as the right words are said and the
right places touched
Trench: anyone ever kiss you while you lay down then
they rub there cheek against yours , again softly, then
move to your ears and their every breath makes the hair on
the back of your neck stand? up a guy ever make you arch your back in
pleasure?


AY AY AY!!!
I ain't know what to say but I digging this!

so yesterday
I found out that some muthafucker cut my brake line and spliced my tyre
WHAT THA FUCK is that!!!
that is beyond shite
someone trying to rasclot kill me
if I EVER find out who that little spineless cunt is I gine fucking well beat their ass
!!!


on a somewhat nicer note
Trench making some SERIOUS progress
you believe (and this one is for the ladies) he sent me flowers
from Jamaica
well I mean the flowers were from here
but he was in Jamtown
and sent me
cuz I was upset about the fact someone got it out for me
and the fact that I ain't got money to pay for my car
and he sent me flowers

the card read
cheer up cuz I'm thinking about you

how SWEET IS THAT!!!
lord have mercy!!!
I well caught up
cha I hate that
but he just too too too too sweeet
shite
*sigh*
and I mean I ain't know how he doing it but everything the man says is just right
at first I thought it was just lyrics but now I ain't so sure
this man just smooth as ras
loss loss loss
caw blen !!!

so practically every day I talk to Trench
and its like more and more I realise we have a lot in common
tho similarities can be found with anyone
yesterday we talked online and on the phone and I mean just laughed so hard!!!
he's so funny
and its the accent that got me
it so smooth so nice
yummy yummy
yeah
that's it
I caught up
and I so did not what to be!!!!
it would be so much easier if he were here but I guess nothing worhtwhile is every easy


...

so yesterday
I was driving
and my brakes failed
somehow my brake line thingy ruptured and I ain't had no brakes
tell you
you have to be grateful for small mercies
becuz I was on my way home, and then I changed my mind I ain't know what for, and instead of going down the hill to my house I was on a flat part of the highway. If I was on the hill I woulda crash and hit someone!!!
cha
anyway

tata for now

so the guy that impressed me way back on the 22 of may
no longer impresses me
you know he gone back to his ex
!!!!
she's manhandle him
treat he bad
I just can't understand men at ALL

the other day I met a guy
let's call him Trench
Trench is a nice guy very nice guy in fact
confident without being overbearing, polite, courteous and just cool
Trench ain't live here tho
of course MUST have some drama inna my life
and I mean long distance things are crappy as it is
expensive as WUH
and you just end up missing de body all the fucking time to the point where you can't function anymore
Trench Real intense doh !
caw blen
de man just like unbelievably into me
I ain't know what going on
and its kinda rubbing off on me now, I into me too!! :) kidding
I dunno what to do tho
wunna musse tink I ain't know what to do
well I don't
cuz this man like he friggin well close to perfect!

Jubilation and confusion all in one day

so I supposed to be going to Panama to support Nadia our Miss Barbados who causing a stir in dem latin countries
I scrunt I save
and bank on money that I WORKED hard for
and the pplz two months later have still to pay me
what is this rubbish!
I can't understand
I mean I get loans from my parents, work
evating to pay back and de fool fool man ain't pay me yet!
and worse yet everytime its oh yes Lani I'll pay you tomorrow!
I leave on SUNDAY!!!
I need to pay the ticket TOMORROW!!!! its just a mangy $300 why pplz doan wanna pay ya???

:(

....
so I saw Mr. Punk/Prince today looking as good as ever in one of those black muscle shirts you know the ones that look like a t-shirt with the sleeves pulled off
I mean it may just be a shirt but on him the ting look delectable!!

:)

sigh

you know what I just remembered?
anybody remember 6 degrees??
that was cool until someone invited some strange person into your circle

once again men have succeeded in confusing me
and Mr. Punk-Prince like he fall off the face of the planet

I'm here trying to make some money to go to Panama and just things just happening to discourage me
seems like there were some unknown costs so now I gotta find an extra $544.00 :(
even if I buss my ass working every nite I won't be paid before I have to leave!
oh woe is me
I went thru nuff to organise this and it just crumbling
but I won't give up!!!
the hurtful thing is that if it was just one week later I'd have more than enough money to go
and I hear shopping in Panama is unbelievably cheap and I ain't gine have not one red cent to buy nutting
CHA!!!

the weekend was interesting
in retrospect I shouldn't have gone out but I guess that's over and done with and can't do anything about that now.
went in extreme
long ass line
for what
men just disrespecting your personal space rubbing up on you and touching you all on your back and your ASS!!! dey had a man that was JUST staring at my crutch trying to dance with me
I look at the man bend down to his eye level and was like what
and he steupse and say I'm unmannerly!!! I love it!
Men in dey offering to BUY you a drink when you done pay your $40 for de damn drinks free
I tell ya if I paying $40 you done know I drinking evating on the drinks free list
even if its just NUFF NUFF juice!

you believe the pplz tek tequila off the drinks free list
now I can't have my tequila sunrises any more
damn pplz!

anyway so picture this
I'm in extreme with Daana, and this guy comes up to speak to me
offering to buy me a drink
Daana says since it took alot of guts to come talk to me I should be nice
but I wonder
I have to execute the same amount of "guts" if I wanted to talk to a fella
and correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think I look like I would damage a fella
but anyway
he comes over with the whole "I have a friend who's shy" routine
which I think is silly (but I was trying to listen to D and be nice)
at the time I have to admit I was pissed off about something else so I told the man sorry I don't like shy men to which he asked what should I tell my "imaginary" friend (cuz he was de body that come back later asking for a dance)
and I said tell him have a nice nite
I mean if the guy too shy to come talk to me and he ain't even know me
well what de hell I gine scare the poor fella when he meets me!

I have to admit tho when he came back i was nicer,, and we even included him in our conversation
its when the man asked me Why I wanted to study law and I tell him cuz it pays well and he ain't get the joke that I was like o-k
and he asked me something else what was it now
oh yes
the man name drop
ask me if I know Nirmal Thani hehe
name dropping in Bim just doesn't wuk

so then later on
a man
I ain't know him you know
comes up behind me puts his arm around me (did I mention I don't know this man)
and asks me in a drinks free if he could BUY me a drink
now I guess most people would be like yeah courvoisier, moet, baileys
but next thing now de man think he bought me for de nite and up under me and trying to get the sauce

now why do you think this man feels he can touch me
does he know me?
I heard about this girl (true story) who got touched in her neck by this boy and he had fungus on his hand and he gave her a rash that eat out her hair and all kinda rubbish!!!!!

you feel I want that shite on me!!!! you'se doan know where pplz put dey hand!!!

....

went tamerind hunting yesterday with my friend Simone AND made tamerind syrup!!! wunna remember that???? I used to have that from primary school this man who we called Brown (simply becuz he drove a brown van) and they (he and mrs. brown) used to bring hot tamerind syrup in foil paper... CHA $0.50
yummmmmm that was sooooo good
I think ours was pretty cool.

you believe we went to this house to pick tamerinds and they were big and juicy and TOO rashole high to pick!!!!
couldn't even climb de frigging tree.

Question: Why would a guy ask for your number unless he wanted to use it?
Answer: Sometimes a guy just wants to know he can get the number......

is that not exasperating??????????
I mean in a reasonable world when you ask for something it means you want it
not that you wanted to know if you could get it
I don't understand that rationale at all at all

if I ask for a fella's number its cuz I want it not cuz I trying to see how many numbers I could get

.......

So why is it I driving to work this morning
and this STUPID woman gine decide when she is NEXT to me in the double lane
she gine pull out and overtake the car ahead of her
near discombubalating me
I mean what sense was that
I still managed to get up the highway ahead of her
and all she did was cause me heart failure
I blow my horn soooo hard but the stupid woman (who was wearing a BIG ass straw hat)
had her windows up so she couldn't hear me cussing
if I coulda reach over a smack the woman upside her head I would have
!(*@^#(*&!_
blasted woman!!!!

Marcus says that he doesn't hate women but yet I have to wonder why all the jokes that are focussed on the failures of women
true the ones about men are funny but yet there are so many more about women or am I just being overly sensitive (cut to men saying YES bitch!)
anyway
I ain't know
I here reposting this cuz I can't understand why the first one I said so eloquently up and disappear
allya may notice I posted about 4 times tonite (plus too I just hey bored)

that's mainly to do with the fact that I got a lot on my mind all de rastaman time and don't have an outlet too often
yes I losing my friend to ballroom
tho she may argue she losing me to evating else i do
.....
welll I ain't losing her I just being dramatic :D
I know its like the third time I saying this but I am intrigued at my reaction to the fella from the beach
by now wunna think I caught up nuh
but I not
I just amazed at how the human brain works its realllllllllll funny
I wonder if it works that way for men? well?
with any luck it does then we all wouldn't be so focussed on looks and what not
ideally I think I'd like a guy who had the qualities I mentioned earlier
and the capacity to hang in there and understand me (especially since and I pride myself on this, that me and the pplz closest to me are not like ordinary girls and we real cool :D) watch it now I gine get chop
sometimes I have to admit I get real lonely and just would like some company
just someone to chill with
and nothing else
but unfortunately that doesn't seem possible
it Seems as tho if a guy invests time in you that he is doing just that making an investment for the big pay off
I can't call a guy to lime without him thinking he could get summa dis yum yum
unless its one of my closest male friends and they all have women so they are not available for my every beck and call
dangnabbit
men are just I ain't know what

I have to say that a fella who is confident in himself
funny
has a reasonable amount of manners
and honest
has got to be the sexiest thing on the planet
and I only found this out today!
I mean all this time I thought it was looks that made me look round
but boy was I ever wrong
as I said earlier this fella that moved from Punk to Prince the effect that his coolness had on his looks was revolutionary!
his looks were altered by the state of his mind
I mean
I ain't looking to tie this man down (hmmm well maybe I am :D)
but I mean on a purely scientific level I was astonished how easily I was able to change my opinion of the man
I...I ain't know what to make of this
I ain't too sure if I like it
cuz once this goes back to man command ALL hell gine break loose all the men gine know what buttons to push to get women to be putty!!!

:P

So I met this guy (for reference this guy is NOT the same Punk-Prince guy)
and the man for WHAT EVER reason just impresses me
I think it fading off now but I was really intrigued by this fella
the man isn't unusually gorgeous tho he is cute
and not amazingly intellectual but he just got something that I can't help but hope he comes into the room I'm in or the same place I am
just so I can look at the man
and he's drop these silly compliments but they seem to be working and making me laugh
*sigh*
oh well
he slacking off a little becuz whereas I'd like to meet up with this wonder boy and see what's cooking he like he ain't so eager
so I ain't so eager nuh more
bajan men

ok let me back track a little to explain a few things
As Daana says I am real picky
perhaps its true I ain't know
but I have to say it doesn't make sense going up to a complete stranger who is currently on the dance floor trying to shake her booty and have a conversations with said booty shaker

I was at Extreme the other nite
and this guy was talking to me now I have to admit while I think that trying to talk to someone you ain't know and by talk I ain't mean convo between already established friends I mean "so how are you. where you from. you bajan? what do you do for a living. generally anything that takes longer than 30 seconds to say
so I'm in extreme and this guy is talking to me I don't mind really I figure I would cut him some slack but its when de man tries to make an otherwise short conversation into an in depth discussion about lets say politics that doesn't make sense

another thing I don't particularly like is the fact that men think that JUST becuz you don't have a boyfriend
that you WANT to dance with them or that you are obligated to dance with them.
hehe
I was hanging out with a bunch of fellas and we were all on the dance floor.
now I know all these guys but they are just friends
Another guy comes up, assessing the situation and asks if I have a bfriend
to which I reply a negative

THEN
he says no one to buss my head if I dance with you (assuming that I want to dance with him at all)
so I say no becuz honestly there is no one there to buss his head if he danced with me
BUT
I ain't want to dance with that man
I mean good looking or not de man just lose SERIOUS points one time by assuming rubbish
why do I want to dance with him?
wunna could tell me

anyway so I say well I don't really want to dance with anyone at the moment far less a stranger
and he says (quite rudely I might add) ok well I standing right here (which is about 2 inches from de I an I )
so I tell de man to stand there and walk off
now I think most people would think I was being cold
or rude
or heaven forbid a b*tch!!
but honestly tho becuz I tell the man (nicely) I don't want to dance with him must I subject myself to him in my personal space when de WHOLE dance floor empty? (yes Extreme was scanty on Wednesday)
cha

ok so here's the thing
today me and Daana were at the beach
and we saw this guy who I think I had established was a punk he was ok looking nothing amazing
not necessarily that I wouldn't speak to him
just that he's a punk
NOW let me tell you
de man sit down with us
talk REAL shite and just had us dying and I have to say my estimation went from a Punk to a Prince
de man just look REAL good now
I mean sexiness cyan DONE!
lossssssy

ahh men
I have to say are the biggest enigma to me at least
I mean why is it that men can't be upfront and tell you what the hell is going on in their shallow heads?
every so often I enter a state of weakness and if a guy were to play his cards right he'd get thru no prob
BUT they inevitably do shite
and mess up evating

well after reading Daana's and seeing how much fun this would be I decided to get my own blogging site and do my own thing
whether or not mine is as interesting as everyone elses is totally unpredictable
but I don't care about wunna I doing this for me :)

Anyway
right now I am at work so I think I'll just hold it down before I get booted out of here
tata