so I had a pretty interesting and invigourating nite last nite

someone got fired at work and it was PANDEMONIA
steupse
Lani was NOT getting in that at all

I kept quiet and only really freaked out when I broke a glass
:'(

other than that I'd say it was a cool nite
went to hlights and saw in my baby brother's birthday!!!
:D

then I just chilled for the rest of the nite

its really cool when you have good people around you its as if you can feel the healing powers they exude
I love it
I wonder if I have that same effect on other people too
I hope I do because its a great feeling

of late I've been getting these phone calls from an ex from back in the day
now I try not to be mean or unkind to my exes...thing is I REALLY don't trust this guy

that is bad seems as though I'm going against my resolution not to make assumptions of pplz

BUT judging from the fact that we broke up mainly cuz he wanted me to do things I didn't want to do .... AND the fact that he has a psychotic ex gfriend (more and more I think that when there's a psycho ex girl, the man had more to do with her condition than he lets on) makes me think that when he calls to "chill" he's up to no good

apart from that
he and I are REALLY different and have very little in common (yes not a good reason to diss the man) and it makes me think that hanging out with him would be very uncomfortable, with him probing into my bizness!

Summertime,
And the livin' is easy
Fish are jumpin'
And the cotton is high

Your daddy's rich
And your mamma's good lookin'
So hush little baby
Don't you cry

One of these mornings
You're going to rise up singing
Then you'll spread your wings
And you'll take to the sky

But till that morning
There's a'nothing can harm you
With daddy and mamma standing by

Summertime,
And the livin' is easy
Fish are jumpin'
And the cotton is high

Your daddy's rich
And your mamma's good lookin'
So hush little baby
Don't you cry

Hee-hee!
Ooh!
Go on girl!
Aaow!

Hey pretty baby with the
High heels on
You give me fever
Like I’ve never, ever known
You’re just a product of
Loveliness
I like the groove of
Your walk,
Your talk, your dress
I feel your fever
From miles around
I’ll pick you up in my car and we’ll paint the town
Just kiss me baby
And tell me twice
That you’re the one for me

The way you make me feel
(the way you make me feel)
You really turn me on
(you really turn me on)
You knock me off of my feet
(you knock me off of
My feet)
My lonely days are gone
(my lonely days are gone)

I like the feelin’ you’re
Givin’ me
Just hold me baby and i’m
In ecstasy
Oh I’ll be workin’ from nine
To five
To buy you things to keep
You by my side
I never felt so in love before
Just promise baby, you’ll
Love me forevermore
I swear I’m keepin’ you
Satisfied
’cause you’re the one for me
The way you make me feel
(the way you make me feel)
You really turn me on
(you really turn me on)
You knock me off of my feet
Now baby-hee!
(you knock me off of
My feet)
My lonely days are gone-
A-acha-acha
(my lonely days are gone)
Acha-ooh!

Go on girl!
Go on! hee! hee! aaow!
Go on girl!

I never felt so in love before
Promise baby, you’ll love me
Forevermore
I swear I’m keepin’ you
Satisfied
’cause you’re the one for
Me . . .

The way you make me feel
(the way you make me feel)
You really turn me on
(you really turn me on)
You knock me off of my feet
Now baby-hee!
(you knock me off of
My feet)
My lonely days are gone
(my lonely days are gone)

The way you make me feel
(the way you make me feel)
You really turn me on
(you really turn me on)
You knock me off of my feet
Now baby-hee!
(you knock me off of
My feet)
My lonely days are gone
(my lonely days are gone)

Ain’t nobody’s business,
Ain’t nobody’s business
(the way you make me feel)
Ain’t nobody’s business,
Ain’t nobody’s business but
Mine and my baby
(you really turn me on)
Hee hee!
(you knock me off of
My feet)
Hee hee! ooh!
(my lonely days are gone)

Give it to me-give me
Some time
(the way you make me feel)
Come on be my girl-i wanna
Be with mine
(you really turn me on)
Ain’t nobody’s business-
(you knock me off of
My feet)
Ain’t nobody’s business but
Mine and my baby’s
Go on girl! aaow!
(my lonely days are gone)

Hee hee! aaow!
Chika-chika
Chika-chika-chika
Go on girl!-hee hee!
(the way you make me feel)
Hee hee hee!
(you really turn me on)
(you knock me off my feet)
(my lonely days are gone)

(the way you make me feel)
(you really turn me on)
(you knock me off my feet)
(my lonely days are gone)

I love sex and the city
its such an interesting series
I'm this close to buying the dvds

****
lord he's making me out to sound like I was just under his skin
to be honest I really don't want to talk to him
I'm not going to be mean or anything
but he was kinda hurtful
and I don't need that he making me sound like some little girl
that he hadda shoo off what the fuck is up with that?
and I know it wasn't like that AT ALL
I mean all the things he was accusing me of he was equally guilty of too

that is just shite
don't try to make it seem like I'm doing mess and you're not doing anything either

the male species is delusional
always reverting to the use of the word clingy FAR too fucking fast
I mean I was distressed
I hadda sit back and rationalise did I REALLY get on like how he was saying I did??
steupse
I know I didn't
I don't WANT a fucking relationship
for what to deal with that fucking stress???
NO
I don't want it!

I slept for the WHOLE day

I REALLY don't know how that was possible!
***

so here's the deal
got this guy who is trying very hard to chat me up
but not in a way I like
as if he's only interested in me physically so I really not feeling him

on a whole he is a very nice guy but the problem is he seems to be fixated on physical aspects of me

I mean I would like someone who appreciates me for all of me not just the tangible parts

and I mean not that I'm sentimental (well I guess I am) but it would be nice to hang with someone and not have this expectation that they gine get some looming over the conversation

what's wrong with just liming uh? watching a movie and just talking?

*shakes head*
I don't get it
is that too much to ask

so I was awoken around 7 this morning to look at a dot on the sun

funny thing is we couldn't actually look at the sun since we didn't have the right apparatus and risk blindness
so we watched it on tv

*rolling eyes*

technology man apparently hasn't reached my grandmother yet

I have a gift voucher from dingolay
so I think I'm going to go out today and look for some new shoes
the temptation to stay home and watch dvds is HUGE
but I think I need to go out and see some pplz
I think I'm getting pasty (that is of course after my nice tan peeled off leaving only my shoulders tanned so I look like I have some rare skin problem!


the thing is
I really love staying home and chatting with my friends who are away online
I mean it sounds kinda geeky yes
but to be honest a great majority of my friends live overseas and to be able to speak to them is GREAT

its interesting how the mind and heart work
your mind could be telling you one thing but your heart is totally on a different wavelength and the combination of the two leaves the rest of your body fucked up

no matter how I try I haven't been able to lick this feeling
to stop myself from feeling the way I feel

its no where near as bad as it was before

but yet its a recurrent feeling that just flares up when certain things happen
one thing is for sure my heart doesn't hurt but its like my brain is determined to keep me in this fucked up state

I find myself fighting back tears when I really shouldn't even be paying that person a second thought
judging myself FAR too harshly when it takes two people most of the time
and setting myself up for disappointment
burn is right I think about things too much
need to let things go

if ever I learn anything from my mother is that I need to let things go

just let go

OK
so the skirt plans are going well!
I only broke it one nite I went to work when i was sick and cold and needed to cover up.....
plus of course smirni promos dictate that I have to wear pants

oh and I hadda wear shorts for the rally I mean to be honest I COULD have risked it but climbing up in canefields etc I dunno how comfy I woulda felt with that much easy access

so I feel cool I mean it may seem like a small thing but I like wearing skirts all kinds
I just remembered I really used to wear alot of skirts before
I'm finding skirts in my closest that I didn't even remember about

*****
of late I've met some fellas who are seemingly uncomfortable with the amount of male friends I have
which I find amusing
I'm sure they have as many female friends
why is it an issue? they are just my friends
its funny how men know how other men think
and they are adamant that women and men CANNOT jus tbe friends
maybe that's true
but for now my male friends I dunno they ground me so to speak

not to say that I can't talk to my girl Daanz when things are going awry
but its just the male perspective on things is so...interesting
and to be honest my friends are very cool they have restored my faith in men
and each of them (I mean my really close friends) have such a different perspective which is very enlightening

*****
looking at a baby sleeping is VERY relaxing!