so of late, I've noticed that I've been feeling a little less than confident around a particular friend of mine
this is of course causing me no end of confusion because this person is a person who up till recently I felt very comfortable around
and I am not really too sure what it is that has changed that has made me be nervous around him

****

recently too, I've noticed that things that would have irritated me or upset me before, aren't
and strangely enough, I kinda like that
its like I'm putting things into a different kind of perspective, the grief and heartache I went thru before, it doesn't seem like its worth it to get like that over something that's inconsequential and something that I could ignore

***
Fallen by Lauren Wood (from the Pretty woman soundtrack)

I can't believe it,
you're a dream comin' true.
I can't believe how I have fallen for you.

And I was not looking,
was content to remain.
And it's ironic to be back in the game.

You are the one who's led me to the sun.
How could I know that
I was lost without you...

And I want to tell you,
you control my rain..
And you should know that
you are life in my veins.

You are the one who's led me to the sun.
How could I know that
I was lost without you...

I can't believe it,
you're a dream comin' true.
I can't believe how I have fallen for you.

And I was not looking,
was content to remain.
And it's erotic to be back in the game.

YO!

Genesis Designs

Pauline Bellamy

Pat Brathwaite

this is from the Look, dressed in Simon/Peter

this photo is by Nicki again, and I'm wearing actual Shak Shak leaves, makeup was by Jamaican born, and cool girl Shauna Llewellyn

playing in the sand, by another Barbadian photographer, Dave Cox

this is a photo from my portfolio, taken by a talented Barbadian photographer, who's now based in Canada, Nicki Roswell Anderson

I got this email today
talking about some show that the bbc had on, saying that Barbados was involved in some kind of slavery, and this was a direct result of all the non-nationals who are now purchasing the land and this was a fault Owen Arthur becuz he allowed these people to buy the land

NOW what kinda of stupidness is that

Barbadians don't buy their own products, they don't support their own ever, bajan business owners have no kind of solidarity from bajans and it goes on.

There is this mentality of always wanting to be BETTER,
you can't afford a new cell phone, but you buy it anyway becuz its better,
you can't afford to shop in supercentre but you do cuz its better
you can't afford to pay your bills, your electricity might be cut off but you have all kind of brand named clothes becuz some stupid ass Rap singer on the most RACIST channel I've ever watched name drops

what the fuck is that

Bajans don't HAVE the money to invest in their own and BUY the fucking land themselves
and for that Owen Arthur is responsible???
WHAT the hell

and even if they did
I doubt that they would buy it

Barbadians are accredited as being some of THE most intellectual and intelliget people in the commonwealth, in this region of the world

but good grief
simple economics, if we invest in our OWN first, our own businesses can then afford to purchase the land and the property and then it will truly be "ours"