so
I am in a quandry
I went to Jamaica

I had a Pulse (pulse is an agency in Jamtown) audition
in which I kicked some serious ass and they want me to come back in August (yay)


let me tell you
Trench is amazing
unbelievably amazing
and everything just went so smoothly it didn't feel we were rushing anything (even tho it was just for a couple days)
and his family like they love me and I love them too they are such wonderful people
but I dunno if I able to deal with the longdistance thing
I mean its hard!
and he of course is being a sweetheart
he's like I know what I want and I'm fully committed to seeing where this leads to
but you need to know if you'll be able to handle it
you need to know if you can live wiht being apart from me for most of the year
I don't want to make you miserable


thing is
I'll be fine
fine for most of the day and then I just start missing the man
REAL bad
and I call him
and he talks to me for a while then he's like well you should get off the phone
cuz its real expensive
and it is

right now he has alot of stress and it bugs me that I can't be there to help him out
however small

man I ain't know what to do
this fucking sucks!