so I had a pretty interesting and invigourating nite last nite
someone got fired at work and it was PANDEMONIA
steupse
Lani was NOT getting in that at all
I kept quiet and only really freaked out when I broke a glass
:'(
other than that I'd say it was a cool nite
went to hlights and saw in my baby brother's birthday!!!
:D
then I just chilled for the rest of the nite
its really cool when you have good people around you its as if you can feel the healing powers they exude
I love it
I wonder if I have that same effect on other people too
I hope I do because its a great feeling
Saturday, June 12, 2004
Thursday, June 10, 2004
of late I've been getting these phone calls from an ex from back in the day
now I try not to be mean or unkind to my exes...thing is I REALLY don't trust this guy
that is bad seems as though I'm going against my resolution not to make assumptions of pplz
BUT judging from the fact that we broke up mainly cuz he wanted me to do things I didn't want to do .... AND the fact that he has a psychotic ex gfriend (more and more I think that when there's a psycho ex girl, the man had more to do with her condition than he lets on) makes me think that when he calls to "chill" he's up to no good
apart from that
he and I are REALLY different and have very little in common (yes not a good reason to diss the man) and it makes me think that hanging out with him would be very uncomfortable, with him probing into my bizness!
now I try not to be mean or unkind to my exes...thing is I REALLY don't trust this guy
that is bad seems as though I'm going against my resolution not to make assumptions of pplz
BUT judging from the fact that we broke up mainly cuz he wanted me to do things I didn't want to do .... AND the fact that he has a psychotic ex gfriend (more and more I think that when there's a psycho ex girl, the man had more to do with her condition than he lets on) makes me think that when he calls to "chill" he's up to no good
apart from that
he and I are REALLY different and have very little in common (yes not a good reason to diss the man) and it makes me think that hanging out with him would be very uncomfortable, with him probing into my bizness!
Summertime,
And the livin' is easy
Fish are jumpin'
And the cotton is high
Your daddy's rich
And your mamma's good lookin'
So hush little baby
Don't you cry
One of these mornings
You're going to rise up singing
Then you'll spread your wings
And you'll take to the sky
But till that morning
There's a'nothing can harm you
With daddy and mamma standing by
Summertime,
And the livin' is easy
Fish are jumpin'
And the cotton is high
Your daddy's rich
And your mamma's good lookin'
So hush little baby
Don't you cry
And the livin' is easy
Fish are jumpin'
And the cotton is high
Your daddy's rich
And your mamma's good lookin'
So hush little baby
Don't you cry
One of these mornings
You're going to rise up singing
Then you'll spread your wings
And you'll take to the sky
But till that morning
There's a'nothing can harm you
With daddy and mamma standing by
Summertime,
And the livin' is easy
Fish are jumpin'
And the cotton is high
Your daddy's rich
And your mamma's good lookin'
So hush little baby
Don't you cry
Wednesday, June 09, 2004
Hee-hee!
Ooh!
Go on girl!
Aaow!
Hey pretty baby with the
High heels on
You give me fever
Like I’ve never, ever known
You’re just a product of
Loveliness
I like the groove of
Your walk,
Your talk, your dress
I feel your fever
From miles around
I’ll pick you up in my car and we’ll paint the town
Just kiss me baby
And tell me twice
That you’re the one for me
The way you make me feel
(the way you make me feel)
You really turn me on
(you really turn me on)
You knock me off of my feet
(you knock me off of
My feet)
My lonely days are gone
(my lonely days are gone)
I like the feelin’ you’re
Givin’ me
Just hold me baby and i’m
In ecstasy
Oh I’ll be workin’ from nine
To five
To buy you things to keep
You by my side
I never felt so in love before
Just promise baby, you’ll
Love me forevermore
I swear I’m keepin’ you
Satisfied
’cause you’re the one for me
The way you make me feel
(the way you make me feel)
You really turn me on
(you really turn me on)
You knock me off of my feet
Now baby-hee!
(you knock me off of
My feet)
My lonely days are gone-
A-acha-acha
(my lonely days are gone)
Acha-ooh!
Go on girl!
Go on! hee! hee! aaow!
Go on girl!
I never felt so in love before
Promise baby, you’ll love me
Forevermore
I swear I’m keepin’ you
Satisfied
’cause you’re the one for
Me . . .
The way you make me feel
(the way you make me feel)
You really turn me on
(you really turn me on)
You knock me off of my feet
Now baby-hee!
(you knock me off of
My feet)
My lonely days are gone
(my lonely days are gone)
The way you make me feel
(the way you make me feel)
You really turn me on
(you really turn me on)
You knock me off of my feet
Now baby-hee!
(you knock me off of
My feet)
My lonely days are gone
(my lonely days are gone)
Ain’t nobody’s business,
Ain’t nobody’s business
(the way you make me feel)
Ain’t nobody’s business,
Ain’t nobody’s business but
Mine and my baby
(you really turn me on)
Hee hee!
(you knock me off of
My feet)
Hee hee! ooh!
(my lonely days are gone)
Give it to me-give me
Some time
(the way you make me feel)
Come on be my girl-i wanna
Be with mine
(you really turn me on)
Ain’t nobody’s business-
(you knock me off of
My feet)
Ain’t nobody’s business but
Mine and my baby’s
Go on girl! aaow!
(my lonely days are gone)
Hee hee! aaow!
Chika-chika
Chika-chika-chika
Go on girl!-hee hee!
(the way you make me feel)
Hee hee hee!
(you really turn me on)
(you knock me off my feet)
(my lonely days are gone)
(the way you make me feel)
(you really turn me on)
(you knock me off my feet)
(my lonely days are gone)
Ooh!
Go on girl!
Aaow!
Hey pretty baby with the
High heels on
You give me fever
Like I’ve never, ever known
You’re just a product of
Loveliness
I like the groove of
Your walk,
Your talk, your dress
I feel your fever
From miles around
I’ll pick you up in my car and we’ll paint the town
Just kiss me baby
And tell me twice
That you’re the one for me
The way you make me feel
(the way you make me feel)
You really turn me on
(you really turn me on)
You knock me off of my feet
(you knock me off of
My feet)
My lonely days are gone
(my lonely days are gone)
I like the feelin’ you’re
Givin’ me
Just hold me baby and i’m
In ecstasy
Oh I’ll be workin’ from nine
To five
To buy you things to keep
You by my side
I never felt so in love before
Just promise baby, you’ll
Love me forevermore
I swear I’m keepin’ you
Satisfied
’cause you’re the one for me
The way you make me feel
(the way you make me feel)
You really turn me on
(you really turn me on)
You knock me off of my feet
Now baby-hee!
(you knock me off of
My feet)
My lonely days are gone-
A-acha-acha
(my lonely days are gone)
Acha-ooh!
Go on girl!
Go on! hee! hee! aaow!
Go on girl!
I never felt so in love before
Promise baby, you’ll love me
Forevermore
I swear I’m keepin’ you
Satisfied
’cause you’re the one for
Me . . .
The way you make me feel
(the way you make me feel)
You really turn me on
(you really turn me on)
You knock me off of my feet
Now baby-hee!
(you knock me off of
My feet)
My lonely days are gone
(my lonely days are gone)
The way you make me feel
(the way you make me feel)
You really turn me on
(you really turn me on)
You knock me off of my feet
Now baby-hee!
(you knock me off of
My feet)
My lonely days are gone
(my lonely days are gone)
Ain’t nobody’s business,
Ain’t nobody’s business
(the way you make me feel)
Ain’t nobody’s business,
Ain’t nobody’s business but
Mine and my baby
(you really turn me on)
Hee hee!
(you knock me off of
My feet)
Hee hee! ooh!
(my lonely days are gone)
Give it to me-give me
Some time
(the way you make me feel)
Come on be my girl-i wanna
Be with mine
(you really turn me on)
Ain’t nobody’s business-
(you knock me off of
My feet)
Ain’t nobody’s business but
Mine and my baby’s
Go on girl! aaow!
(my lonely days are gone)
Hee hee! aaow!
Chika-chika
Chika-chika-chika
Go on girl!-hee hee!
(the way you make me feel)
Hee hee hee!
(you really turn me on)
(you knock me off my feet)
(my lonely days are gone)
(the way you make me feel)
(you really turn me on)
(you knock me off my feet)
(my lonely days are gone)
Tuesday, June 08, 2004
I love sex and the city
its such an interesting series
I'm this close to buying the dvds
****
lord he's making me out to sound like I was just under his skin
to be honest I really don't want to talk to him
I'm not going to be mean or anything
but he was kinda hurtful
and I don't need that he making me sound like some little girl
that he hadda shoo off what the fuck is up with that?
and I know it wasn't like that AT ALL
I mean all the things he was accusing me of he was equally guilty of too
that is just shite
don't try to make it seem like I'm doing mess and you're not doing anything either
the male species is delusional
always reverting to the use of the word clingy FAR too fucking fast
I mean I was distressed
I hadda sit back and rationalise did I REALLY get on like how he was saying I did??
steupse
I know I didn't
I don't WANT a fucking relationship
for what to deal with that fucking stress???
NO
I don't want it!
its such an interesting series
I'm this close to buying the dvds
****
lord he's making me out to sound like I was just under his skin
to be honest I really don't want to talk to him
I'm not going to be mean or anything
but he was kinda hurtful
and I don't need that he making me sound like some little girl
that he hadda shoo off what the fuck is up with that?
and I know it wasn't like that AT ALL
I mean all the things he was accusing me of he was equally guilty of too
that is just shite
don't try to make it seem like I'm doing mess and you're not doing anything either
the male species is delusional
always reverting to the use of the word clingy FAR too fucking fast
I mean I was distressed
I hadda sit back and rationalise did I REALLY get on like how he was saying I did??
steupse
I know I didn't
I don't WANT a fucking relationship
for what to deal with that fucking stress???
NO
I don't want it!
I slept for the WHOLE day
I REALLY don't know how that was possible!
***
so here's the deal
got this guy who is trying very hard to chat me up
but not in a way I like
as if he's only interested in me physically so I really not feeling him
on a whole he is a very nice guy but the problem is he seems to be fixated on physical aspects of me
I mean I would like someone who appreciates me for all of me not just the tangible parts
and I mean not that I'm sentimental (well I guess I am) but it would be nice to hang with someone and not have this expectation that they gine get some looming over the conversation
what's wrong with just liming uh? watching a movie and just talking?
*shakes head*
I don't get it
is that too much to ask
I REALLY don't know how that was possible!
***
so here's the deal
got this guy who is trying very hard to chat me up
but not in a way I like
as if he's only interested in me physically so I really not feeling him
on a whole he is a very nice guy but the problem is he seems to be fixated on physical aspects of me
I mean I would like someone who appreciates me for all of me not just the tangible parts
and I mean not that I'm sentimental (well I guess I am) but it would be nice to hang with someone and not have this expectation that they gine get some looming over the conversation
what's wrong with just liming uh? watching a movie and just talking?
*shakes head*
I don't get it
is that too much to ask
so I was awoken around 7 this morning to look at a dot on the sun
funny thing is we couldn't actually look at the sun since we didn't have the right apparatus and risk blindness
so we watched it on tv
*rolling eyes*
technology man apparently hasn't reached my grandmother yet
I have a gift voucher from dingolay
so I think I'm going to go out today and look for some new shoes
the temptation to stay home and watch dvds is HUGE
but I think I need to go out and see some pplz
I think I'm getting pasty (that is of course after my nice tan peeled off leaving only my shoulders tanned so I look like I have some rare skin problem!
the thing is
I really love staying home and chatting with my friends who are away online
I mean it sounds kinda geeky yes
but to be honest a great majority of my friends live overseas and to be able to speak to them is GREAT
funny thing is we couldn't actually look at the sun since we didn't have the right apparatus and risk blindness
so we watched it on tv
*rolling eyes*
technology man apparently hasn't reached my grandmother yet
I have a gift voucher from dingolay
so I think I'm going to go out today and look for some new shoes
the temptation to stay home and watch dvds is HUGE
but I think I need to go out and see some pplz
I think I'm getting pasty (that is of course after my nice tan peeled off leaving only my shoulders tanned so I look like I have some rare skin problem!
the thing is
I really love staying home and chatting with my friends who are away online
I mean it sounds kinda geeky yes
but to be honest a great majority of my friends live overseas and to be able to speak to them is GREAT
Monday, June 07, 2004
its interesting how the mind and heart work
your mind could be telling you one thing but your heart is totally on a different wavelength and the combination of the two leaves the rest of your body fucked up
no matter how I try I haven't been able to lick this feeling
to stop myself from feeling the way I feel
its no where near as bad as it was before
but yet its a recurrent feeling that just flares up when certain things happen
one thing is for sure my heart doesn't hurt but its like my brain is determined to keep me in this fucked up state
I find myself fighting back tears when I really shouldn't even be paying that person a second thought
judging myself FAR too harshly when it takes two people most of the time
and setting myself up for disappointment
burn is right I think about things too much
need to let things go
if ever I learn anything from my mother is that I need to let things go
just let go
your mind could be telling you one thing but your heart is totally on a different wavelength and the combination of the two leaves the rest of your body fucked up
no matter how I try I haven't been able to lick this feeling
to stop myself from feeling the way I feel
its no where near as bad as it was before
but yet its a recurrent feeling that just flares up when certain things happen
one thing is for sure my heart doesn't hurt but its like my brain is determined to keep me in this fucked up state
I find myself fighting back tears when I really shouldn't even be paying that person a second thought
judging myself FAR too harshly when it takes two people most of the time
and setting myself up for disappointment
burn is right I think about things too much
need to let things go
if ever I learn anything from my mother is that I need to let things go
just let go
Sunday, June 06, 2004
OK
so the skirt plans are going well!
I only broke it one nite I went to work when i was sick and cold and needed to cover up.....
plus of course smirni promos dictate that I have to wear pants
oh and I hadda wear shorts for the rally I mean to be honest I COULD have risked it but climbing up in canefields etc I dunno how comfy I woulda felt with that much easy access
so I feel cool I mean it may seem like a small thing but I like wearing skirts all kinds
I just remembered I really used to wear alot of skirts before
I'm finding skirts in my closest that I didn't even remember about
*****
of late I've met some fellas who are seemingly uncomfortable with the amount of male friends I have
which I find amusing
I'm sure they have as many female friends
why is it an issue? they are just my friends
its funny how men know how other men think
and they are adamant that women and men CANNOT jus tbe friends
maybe that's true
but for now my male friends I dunno they ground me so to speak
not to say that I can't talk to my girl Daanz when things are going awry
but its just the male perspective on things is so...interesting
and to be honest my friends are very cool they have restored my faith in men
and each of them (I mean my really close friends) have such a different perspective which is very enlightening
*****
looking at a baby sleeping is VERY relaxing!
so the skirt plans are going well!
I only broke it one nite I went to work when i was sick and cold and needed to cover up.....
plus of course smirni promos dictate that I have to wear pants
oh and I hadda wear shorts for the rally I mean to be honest I COULD have risked it but climbing up in canefields etc I dunno how comfy I woulda felt with that much easy access
so I feel cool I mean it may seem like a small thing but I like wearing skirts all kinds
I just remembered I really used to wear alot of skirts before
I'm finding skirts in my closest that I didn't even remember about
*****
of late I've met some fellas who are seemingly uncomfortable with the amount of male friends I have
which I find amusing
I'm sure they have as many female friends
why is it an issue? they are just my friends
its funny how men know how other men think
and they are adamant that women and men CANNOT jus tbe friends
maybe that's true
but for now my male friends I dunno they ground me so to speak
not to say that I can't talk to my girl Daanz when things are going awry
but its just the male perspective on things is so...interesting
and to be honest my friends are very cool they have restored my faith in men
and each of them (I mean my really close friends) have such a different perspective which is very enlightening
*****
looking at a baby sleeping is VERY relaxing!
Friday, June 04, 2004
Thursday, June 03, 2004
I'm proud of myself
I'm having one of those moments when I say girl I'm glad I'm me!
:D
I went to see shrek 2 today all I have to say is I LOVE the cat!
****
I think one of the most important things for me is a guy who can communicate with me
who I can understand and talk to and he can answer me back
it is a COMPLETE turnoff to KNOW a guy wants something and doesn't know how to ask for it or get it
I'm having one of those moments when I say girl I'm glad I'm me!
:D
I went to see shrek 2 today all I have to say is I LOVE the cat!
****
I think one of the most important things for me is a guy who can communicate with me
who I can understand and talk to and he can answer me back
it is a COMPLETE turnoff to KNOW a guy wants something and doesn't know how to ask for it or get it
Sunday, May 30, 2004
I can't really explain how I'm feeling
a kinda fuckup kinda way but not really
****
so Trench is here
plus new gfriend
cool cool I can handle that
I can be the big person and actually I am happy to know that he's happy
becuz genuinely I want people to be happy
I don't hate the man
I mean how could I? I dunno how you could hate someone that you were close to etc
but anyway I guess no one ever feels "happy" when the new gfriend is shite
hehe ok I take that back
she seems to be a very nice girl
how do I know her?
no no he didn't introduce me
home girl introduced herself!
hear tune! I'm at the kendal stage and I notice a familiar looking (yet generic hat it was the brand I remembered not a specific hat)
anywho I was speaking to this girl about a t-shirt they could buy and I realised she was not from here
and so I said are you supporting the jamtown team?
yep
cool cool
to make a long story short when I asked who else was here (since I knew alot of them since I was going out with the man)
she said I dunno who you know, THO you MET ALOT OF PEOPLE WHEN YOU WERE THERE IN JUNE
(note the woman asked me if I saw him since he's been here as in face to face BEFORE she let it slide that she knew who I was)
so I stopped for a sec
shades on so my eyes ain't really bulge
she said this twice so I said
I'm sorry but do I know you?
no no but I know you're Trench's ex
Rhaaaatid
so I was like ok and I guess you're his current gfriend?
now I have to admit de girl was brave to step up to me so
I mean I'm not hating anyone but protocol dictates if you de current woman - be introduced
anywho being the cool person I am :)
I spoke with her and had no probs (limed wid her inadvertantly for most of the day, I mean I knew all his friends so I was chilling wid them and she kept coming to lime)
to be honest for a SECOND I had felt like saying, "wow this is kinda weird but I appreciate that you're such a nice person and I can speak to you civilly" no no I have no grudges but you know how women can get (other women that is)
BUT
HOMEGIRL start up (later in the day) about how she and Trench WILL not be going to Barbados for a honeymoon (I ain't see a fucking ring)
and FURTHER when I was showing someone his car she gine say "YES I am the current girlfriend" (uhhhh biatch was I talking to you?)
WOW
I was like
CACKLE!
I couldn't hold it back
I was in shock
I dunno
I guess I would have had issues seeing him
as I haven't seen him since we broke up an' all
so there was bound to be fuck up feelings
but shite
this girl just got me feeling like I dunno
I really dunno
I hate this feeling tho becuz I mean yes I know its natural to feel stupid but I was able to let that stupid feeling slide an' chalk it up to human nature
YET
I feel like I shouldn't even be giving this shite hole a second look
ESPECIALLY wid the attitude homegirl giving me
its probably insecurity (if she had kept up the tirade that she was cool wid meeting me and not at all insecure I woulda felt better cuz to be honest de spiteful side in me feeling I would risk something JUST to see what would happen since she sooooooooo nervous around me)
but I won't that is demeaning and stupid and would encourage SHITE
I feel bad too oddly enough becuz while it is kinda an ego trip to know that I intimidating the girl at the end of the day she has him (not that I want him back or anything) and I have no interest in getting him back - a part of me still feels a little twinge knowing that this girl
who I see as being insecure, quiet, plain (I would put de girl at 15) short VERY sheltered
is the girl that he wants to go out with
now for a little self reflection cuz he isn't the first ex to go for that type of girl (on the outset she could be a freak too ya neva know nowadays)
is there something wrong with me that makes my ex's RUN from me?
I asked that question kinda rhetorically but got an answer from an unlikely source
"well you know you're the bomb so a guy could never do better than you"
hehe
while that is VERY egotistical and ignorant to believe
it made me feel just that much better
a kinda fuckup kinda way but not really
****
so Trench is here
plus new gfriend
cool cool I can handle that
I can be the big person and actually I am happy to know that he's happy
becuz genuinely I want people to be happy
I don't hate the man
I mean how could I? I dunno how you could hate someone that you were close to etc
but anyway I guess no one ever feels "happy" when the new gfriend is shite
hehe ok I take that back
she seems to be a very nice girl
how do I know her?
no no he didn't introduce me
home girl introduced herself!
hear tune! I'm at the kendal stage and I notice a familiar looking (yet generic hat it was the brand I remembered not a specific hat)
anywho I was speaking to this girl about a t-shirt they could buy and I realised she was not from here
and so I said are you supporting the jamtown team?
yep
cool cool
to make a long story short when I asked who else was here (since I knew alot of them since I was going out with the man)
she said I dunno who you know, THO you MET ALOT OF PEOPLE WHEN YOU WERE THERE IN JUNE
(note the woman asked me if I saw him since he's been here as in face to face BEFORE she let it slide that she knew who I was)
so I stopped for a sec
shades on so my eyes ain't really bulge
she said this twice so I said
I'm sorry but do I know you?
no no but I know you're Trench's ex
Rhaaaatid
so I was like ok and I guess you're his current gfriend?
now I have to admit de girl was brave to step up to me so
I mean I'm not hating anyone but protocol dictates if you de current woman - be introduced
anywho being the cool person I am :)
I spoke with her and had no probs (limed wid her inadvertantly for most of the day, I mean I knew all his friends so I was chilling wid them and she kept coming to lime)
to be honest for a SECOND I had felt like saying, "wow this is kinda weird but I appreciate that you're such a nice person and I can speak to you civilly" no no I have no grudges but you know how women can get (other women that is)
BUT
HOMEGIRL start up (later in the day) about how she and Trench WILL not be going to Barbados for a honeymoon (I ain't see a fucking ring)
and FURTHER when I was showing someone his car she gine say "YES I am the current girlfriend" (uhhhh biatch was I talking to you?)
WOW
I was like
CACKLE!
I couldn't hold it back
I was in shock
I dunno
I guess I would have had issues seeing him
as I haven't seen him since we broke up an' all
so there was bound to be fuck up feelings
but shite
this girl just got me feeling like I dunno
I really dunno
I hate this feeling tho becuz I mean yes I know its natural to feel stupid but I was able to let that stupid feeling slide an' chalk it up to human nature
YET
I feel like I shouldn't even be giving this shite hole a second look
ESPECIALLY wid the attitude homegirl giving me
its probably insecurity (if she had kept up the tirade that she was cool wid meeting me and not at all insecure I woulda felt better cuz to be honest de spiteful side in me feeling I would risk something JUST to see what would happen since she sooooooooo nervous around me)
but I won't that is demeaning and stupid and would encourage SHITE
I feel bad too oddly enough becuz while it is kinda an ego trip to know that I intimidating the girl at the end of the day she has him (not that I want him back or anything) and I have no interest in getting him back - a part of me still feels a little twinge knowing that this girl
who I see as being insecure, quiet, plain (I would put de girl at 15) short VERY sheltered
is the girl that he wants to go out with
now for a little self reflection cuz he isn't the first ex to go for that type of girl (on the outset she could be a freak too ya neva know nowadays)
is there something wrong with me that makes my ex's RUN from me?
I asked that question kinda rhetorically but got an answer from an unlikely source
"well you know you're the bomb so a guy could never do better than you"
hehe
while that is VERY egotistical and ignorant to believe
it made me feel just that much better
Monday, May 24, 2004
that's the best thing about summer
everyone comes home!!!
all my friends coming in
yay I love it
***
what is it about men that just makes them so clueless sometimes?
and I'm not talking about a guy who's supposed to be romantically interested in you and in theory SHOULD be in tune with you but clearly that hardly ever happens
but men on a whole are just like I dunno, they have this gene that just blocks any kinda intuition a girl has
its quite sad
case in point
liming with one of my buddies, I mean this guy is like my little brother
sweet no end, can ask him to do things for me and I'd do anything for him
so we talking about the movie Troy
me: no I haven't seen it yet, all the times I was to go with pplz I hadda work
him: man yeah troy is real cool you'll like it Brad Pitt Body is f*cking amazing (no he is not gay, he is just in tune with the kinda things I like and is able to appreciate good looking men and of course he's secure in his masculinity)
me:yeah ok I wouldn't mind seeing it
so LATER the day, I'm like what you doing later?
him: oh not much just chilling
I call de man about a couple hours later
de man in de cinema
what he watching ? you guessed it!
so HOW could he not know that he coulda called me?
I mean yes the thought crossed my mind that he may have been on a flex which is highly doubtful since he has a girlfriend in Trinidad who's coming in, in a few weeks (yes that is my naive faithful always looking for the best in people side)
*sigh*
I just wanna watch Troy!
:(
no money and no man sucks!
an' its worse when your male friends clueless to all hell
everyone comes home!!!
all my friends coming in
yay I love it
***
what is it about men that just makes them so clueless sometimes?
and I'm not talking about a guy who's supposed to be romantically interested in you and in theory SHOULD be in tune with you but clearly that hardly ever happens
but men on a whole are just like I dunno, they have this gene that just blocks any kinda intuition a girl has
its quite sad
case in point
liming with one of my buddies, I mean this guy is like my little brother
sweet no end, can ask him to do things for me and I'd do anything for him
so we talking about the movie Troy
me: no I haven't seen it yet, all the times I was to go with pplz I hadda work
him: man yeah troy is real cool you'll like it Brad Pitt Body is f*cking amazing (no he is not gay, he is just in tune with the kinda things I like and is able to appreciate good looking men and of course he's secure in his masculinity)
me:yeah ok I wouldn't mind seeing it
so LATER the day, I'm like what you doing later?
him: oh not much just chilling
I call de man about a couple hours later
de man in de cinema
what he watching ? you guessed it!
so HOW could he not know that he coulda called me?
I mean yes the thought crossed my mind that he may have been on a flex which is highly doubtful since he has a girlfriend in Trinidad who's coming in, in a few weeks (yes that is my naive faithful always looking for the best in people side)
*sigh*
I just wanna watch Troy!
:(
no money and no man sucks!
an' its worse when your male friends clueless to all hell
Tuesday, May 18, 2004
well exams have ended and summer has officially started
this summer I wanna try (and try hard) to ONLY wear skirts
so far its not so bad
I've been wearing skirts every day
only time I didn't wear a skirt was when I was sleeping and when I was doing smirnoff promos
so I going good
so we'll see how long this lasts!
next thing I wanna do is go thru my wardrobe and clear out any clothes that I don't wear to much or can't wear.....
donate the salvagable ones to the salvation army or something like that
****
I have post exam cold!
well at least it didn't strike as it usually does during my exams or on my birthday!
*****
I can't wait for kadooment
I dunno this summer I think will be great
and not necessarily because of any momentous thing that will happen or could happen
but I think becuz of these last few months my outlook on life has been altered slightly so no matter what happens
I will find some way to enjoy myself or find something good out of it
which is how it should be
:D
sometimes I feel so enlightened
I mean the other day I was just sitting back thinking and I realise that no one ever comes into your life by accident
I mean you may not realise why at the time they are in your life, but somehow or someway the relationship you have with that person has some significance
case in point
sometimes you would be going thru your own kinda hell
you know not really able to see any kinda hope or anything of the sort
and its like the universe arranges for you to meet this person, or be in this particular place where you can "bump" into this person and I mean the whole interaction can be very brief, you may never see them again
or the person can stay with you for several weeks, months, even years
but you meet that person EXACTLY when you needed to meet that person
and you may not realise it at the time but when its important
you realise that person gave you that little something you needed
this summer I wanna try (and try hard) to ONLY wear skirts
so far its not so bad
I've been wearing skirts every day
only time I didn't wear a skirt was when I was sleeping and when I was doing smirnoff promos
so I going good
so we'll see how long this lasts!
next thing I wanna do is go thru my wardrobe and clear out any clothes that I don't wear to much or can't wear.....
donate the salvagable ones to the salvation army or something like that
****
I have post exam cold!
well at least it didn't strike as it usually does during my exams or on my birthday!
*****
I can't wait for kadooment
I dunno this summer I think will be great
and not necessarily because of any momentous thing that will happen or could happen
but I think becuz of these last few months my outlook on life has been altered slightly so no matter what happens
I will find some way to enjoy myself or find something good out of it
which is how it should be
:D
sometimes I feel so enlightened
I mean the other day I was just sitting back thinking and I realise that no one ever comes into your life by accident
I mean you may not realise why at the time they are in your life, but somehow or someway the relationship you have with that person has some significance
case in point
sometimes you would be going thru your own kinda hell
you know not really able to see any kinda hope or anything of the sort
and its like the universe arranges for you to meet this person, or be in this particular place where you can "bump" into this person and I mean the whole interaction can be very brief, you may never see them again
or the person can stay with you for several weeks, months, even years
but you meet that person EXACTLY when you needed to meet that person
and you may not realise it at the time but when its important
you realise that person gave you that little something you needed
Wednesday, May 12, 2004
one more exam
LORD
I have never wished for time to go by before an exam
not to say that I'm TOTALLY prepared but I'm just fed up now
I want it over and done with!
I feel like after these exams I could just SLEEP for the whole of summer
just detoxify my brain
everyone keeps asking what my plans are for summer
but to be honest I would love it if I had no plans at all
just kinda float from day to day
somehow managing to get money every once and a while so that I'm not completely broke
If I could get some form of work, modelling that involved travelling and paying NUFF money!
THAT would be ideal *sigh*
never know! we'll see what happens
LORD
I have never wished for time to go by before an exam
not to say that I'm TOTALLY prepared but I'm just fed up now
I want it over and done with!
I feel like after these exams I could just SLEEP for the whole of summer
just detoxify my brain
everyone keeps asking what my plans are for summer
but to be honest I would love it if I had no plans at all
just kinda float from day to day
somehow managing to get money every once and a while so that I'm not completely broke
If I could get some form of work, modelling that involved travelling and paying NUFF money!
THAT would be ideal *sigh*
never know! we'll see what happens
Monday, May 10, 2004
ok
so my bithday came and went
wasn't too bad
hung out with the people who matter
you know you feel really special when someone remembers your birthday
**********
Its so funny how people can be
wanting to pass judgement on you
and they guilty of WORSE than they accusing you of (mind you you're innocent of that too)
but anyway so it goes
one more exam
Public International Law 2!
then SUMMER!
loss
can't wait!
so my bithday came and went
wasn't too bad
hung out with the people who matter
you know you feel really special when someone remembers your birthday
**********
Its so funny how people can be
wanting to pass judgement on you
and they guilty of WORSE than they accusing you of (mind you you're innocent of that too)
but anyway so it goes
one more exam
Public International Law 2!
then SUMMER!
loss
can't wait!
Friday, May 07, 2004
I know there is a reason why I don't sleep during the day
!
I dreamt that I was writing, I mean really writing had an editor and all, anyway so I was giving him my edits and then I had to leave the room cuz he was interviewing some people
anywho there was this slightly overweight woman and she ran out the room, well not run she hobbled quickly and I couldn't catch up with her
she went in my room, (it seemed to be an apartment kinda thing) anywho she RAN into my room and went into the bathroom and then missed the toilet! and peed on the ground
wtf
*****
yesterday was a weird day
why is it I put so much faith in people and at the same time don't want to
I mean
I don't expect that people will be "bad" but when they prove that they are
its like my whole world is just crumbled
of course I don't let them know that
but the effect that it has on me is just I dunno
it shouldn't have such an effect but it does
to come to think of it even tho I expect certain actions from men so to speak
it still upsets me when they do
its like the realisation that you don't have anyone to depend on
is really a scary thing
of course not that I think anyone should DEPEND on anyone per se
all that jazz about being independent and looking out for yourself and being born alone still is true
but sometimes I mean you just would like someone to take care of things when you really in need it
here are two songs that are beginning to grow on me
" This Love "
Maroon 5
( Songs About Jane )
I was so high I did not recognize
The fire burning in her eyes
The chaos that controlled my mind
Whispered goodbye and she got on a plane
Never to return again
But always in my heart
This love has taken its toll on me
She said Goodbye too many times before
And her heart is breaking in front of me
I have no choice cause I won't say goodbye anymore
I tried my best to feed her appetite
Keep her coming every night
So hard to keep her satisfied
Kept playing love like it was just a game
Pretending to feel the same
Then turn around and leave again
This love has taken its toll on me
She said Goodbye too many times before
And her heart is breaking in front of me
I have no choice cause I won't say goodbye anymore
I'll fix these broken things
Repair your broken wings
And make sure everything's alright
My pressure on her hips
Sinking my fingertips
Into every inch of you
Cause I know that's what you want me to do
" Harder To Breathe "
Maroon 5
( Songs About Jane )
How dare you say that my behavior is unacceptable
So condescending unnecessarily critical
I have the tendency of getting very physical
So watch your step cause if I do you'll need a miracle
You drain me dry and make me wonder why I'm even here
This Double Vision I was seeing is finally clear
You want to stay but you know very well I want you gone
Not fit to funkin' tread the ground I'm walking on
When it gets cold outside and I got nobody to love
You'll understand what I mean when I say
There's no way we're gonna give up
And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
What you are doing is screwing things up inside my head
You should know better you never listened to a word I said
Clutching your pillow and writhing in a naked sweat
Hoping somebody someday will do you like I did
When it gets cold outside and I got nobody to love
You'll understand what I mean when I say
There's no way we're gonna give up
And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
Does it kill
Does it burn
Is it painful to learn
That it's me that has all the control
Does it thrill
Does it sting
When you feel what I bring
And you wish that you had me to hold
!
I dreamt that I was writing, I mean really writing had an editor and all, anyway so I was giving him my edits and then I had to leave the room cuz he was interviewing some people
anywho there was this slightly overweight woman and she ran out the room, well not run she hobbled quickly and I couldn't catch up with her
she went in my room, (it seemed to be an apartment kinda thing) anywho she RAN into my room and went into the bathroom and then missed the toilet! and peed on the ground
wtf
*****
yesterday was a weird day
why is it I put so much faith in people and at the same time don't want to
I mean
I don't expect that people will be "bad" but when they prove that they are
its like my whole world is just crumbled
of course I don't let them know that
but the effect that it has on me is just I dunno
it shouldn't have such an effect but it does
to come to think of it even tho I expect certain actions from men so to speak
it still upsets me when they do
its like the realisation that you don't have anyone to depend on
is really a scary thing
of course not that I think anyone should DEPEND on anyone per se
all that jazz about being independent and looking out for yourself and being born alone still is true
but sometimes I mean you just would like someone to take care of things when you really in need it
here are two songs that are beginning to grow on me
" This Love "
Maroon 5
( Songs About Jane )
I was so high I did not recognize
The fire burning in her eyes
The chaos that controlled my mind
Whispered goodbye and she got on a plane
Never to return again
But always in my heart
This love has taken its toll on me
She said Goodbye too many times before
And her heart is breaking in front of me
I have no choice cause I won't say goodbye anymore
I tried my best to feed her appetite
Keep her coming every night
So hard to keep her satisfied
Kept playing love like it was just a game
Pretending to feel the same
Then turn around and leave again
This love has taken its toll on me
She said Goodbye too many times before
And her heart is breaking in front of me
I have no choice cause I won't say goodbye anymore
I'll fix these broken things
Repair your broken wings
And make sure everything's alright
My pressure on her hips
Sinking my fingertips
Into every inch of you
Cause I know that's what you want me to do
" Harder To Breathe "
Maroon 5
( Songs About Jane )
How dare you say that my behavior is unacceptable
So condescending unnecessarily critical
I have the tendency of getting very physical
So watch your step cause if I do you'll need a miracle
You drain me dry and make me wonder why I'm even here
This Double Vision I was seeing is finally clear
You want to stay but you know very well I want you gone
Not fit to funkin' tread the ground I'm walking on
When it gets cold outside and I got nobody to love
You'll understand what I mean when I say
There's no way we're gonna give up
And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
What you are doing is screwing things up inside my head
You should know better you never listened to a word I said
Clutching your pillow and writhing in a naked sweat
Hoping somebody someday will do you like I did
When it gets cold outside and I got nobody to love
You'll understand what I mean when I say
There's no way we're gonna give up
And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
Does it kill
Does it burn
Is it painful to learn
That it's me that has all the control
Does it thrill
Does it sting
When you feel what I bring
And you wish that you had me to hold