there's something a little disconcerting about a guy who will be so stone faced in a business meeting
yet two words and he's telling you anything you want to know
I find that very disturbing that I can wield such power, albeit unwillingly, but still harness it nonetheless
its like I'm meeting all guys, and they are really great, except for one tiny detail, and its not that I can put my finger on it, I mean sometimes its BLATANT that me and him will NOT go anywhere cuz he's just not my type of person.
I wonder if I'm too picky
am I too particular? I mean what's wrong with that? to be honest I don't think you should waste time with someone that you don't want to be around......I mean REALLY REALLY want to be around......it would be better to be alone anyway that to be miserable cuz you're not really happy.
its interesting, this whole distancing thing, I can look at my situation and logically decide what I like and what I don't like
I should have closed for stocktaking AGES ago!
got some stuff in here I didn't even know existed! its amazing what you can find out when you look inside yourself
Sunday, April 25, 2004
Saturday, April 24, 2004
ok
let me see if I can try to explain my previous blog
A guy SHOULD always respect a woman's opinion and not try to change her mind when its something important, say for example, trying to make her disown her friends, or have sex when she really doesn't want to, or make her lie, something like that.....
however, there are circumstances, when a woman (and a man too) can be very anal, and not really willing to try new things, say for example a relationship with someone they wouldn't ordinarily go out with or something a little more risque that is legal and not morally unethical, by all means the guy has the right to try to persuade the girl to try something new........
in fact sometimes if the guy is really good at persuasion it would make the relationship all the better, note well I say PERSUADE! persuasion is not saying, OHMYGOD you're being such a baby! just try it NUH!!! (that is not persuasion) at all times the guy should respect her opinion, and try to encourage her while still making her feel like she isn't losing anything
HOWEVER, this is not to say, that if a woman makes a point of saying from the get go that she isn't interested in something, the guy should be no really means yes and try to force her into something she doesn't want to do. Forcing is most definitely NOT persuasion, there is a HUGE difference, and I think that's where the problem comes from.
let me see if I can try to explain my previous blog
A guy SHOULD always respect a woman's opinion and not try to change her mind when its something important, say for example, trying to make her disown her friends, or have sex when she really doesn't want to, or make her lie, something like that.....
however, there are circumstances, when a woman (and a man too) can be very anal, and not really willing to try new things, say for example a relationship with someone they wouldn't ordinarily go out with or something a little more risque that is legal and not morally unethical, by all means the guy has the right to try to persuade the girl to try something new........
in fact sometimes if the guy is really good at persuasion it would make the relationship all the better, note well I say PERSUADE! persuasion is not saying, OHMYGOD you're being such a baby! just try it NUH!!! (that is not persuasion) at all times the guy should respect her opinion, and try to encourage her while still making her feel like she isn't losing anything
HOWEVER, this is not to say, that if a woman makes a point of saying from the get go that she isn't interested in something, the guy should be no really means yes and try to force her into something she doesn't want to do. Forcing is most definitely NOT persuasion, there is a HUGE difference, and I think that's where the problem comes from.
Friday, April 23, 2004
and why is it that men think they can change your mind about something by saying
"no, don't worry you'll see it my way?"
WTF!
is there something wrong with wanting some kinda creativity?
I mean a man is REALLY talented when he can get you do something you wouldn't ordinarily do in a way that you don't even realise
on a dif level the guy should respect your opinion and NOT try to change your mind but see then I'd have to break it down for you for you to understand, why men have to TRY changing women's minds but not piss them off, and still respect the woman's mind at the same time
ok I think I have to rethink that when I get a chance I'll break it down more simply when I get a chance
"no, don't worry you'll see it my way?"
WTF!
is there something wrong with wanting some kinda creativity?
I mean a man is REALLY talented when he can get you do something you wouldn't ordinarily do in a way that you don't even realise
on a dif level the guy should respect your opinion and NOT try to change your mind but see then I'd have to break it down for you for you to understand, why men have to TRY changing women's minds but not piss them off, and still respect the woman's mind at the same time
ok I think I have to rethink that when I get a chance I'll break it down more simply when I get a chance
Thursday, April 22, 2004
boy
call me difficult self centered whatever
but if its ONE thing I cannot stand! its a fella who is trying to chat you up, who isn't even going to give you the respect to speak with you with most of his attention.
case in point, I met a guy who is exhibiting most signs of interest, wanting to keep in contact in some form, email, phone number etc, YET, whenever this does happen, communication or contact that is, you can tell he is doing something else, the conversation sounds disjointed, distracted.
now, I really wasn't concerned, (whole closed for stocktaking thing) but I did find it interesting that this guy (and he isn't the first) would act like he's interested, but then have piss poor conversations. I mean communication is the essence of relationships, any kind of relationship, and if people don't at least TRY to talk with each other, and get to understand each other all is lost!
so I asked him, (playing dumb and all) why do you call me and message me? what is your motive,
ME: tell me something
how come you call me and message me?
he says: i think you are a nice person and i would like to get to know you better.....maybe sometime we could go out
Me: but you never really speak to me its very VERY small talk
He says:i know
ME: in fact your friend talks to me more than you do
He says: i am not really a phone person it is not that i dont want to talk..........lately have been a bit busy........
Me: I see (SO WHY IS HE CALLING ME THEN IF HE'S BUSY???) fair enough
anyway have a good nite
He says:you sound upset.........are you? (My real man wouldn't have to ask that question!)
Me: oh no not at all just was unclear if you were attempting to be interested, why you seemed disinterested when you called
he says : i am interested.........are u? (hahah here you go!)
me: in you? to be honest you really haven't impressed me with how you're trying to impress me lack of attention so to speak not my kinda thing but apart from that I'm really not interested in getting involved with anyone
He says:ok.........i was not trying to impress you........just trying to get to know you
ME: no I don't think you were cuz your conversations weren't conversations
so you weren't trying to get to know me
we bantered for a while about whether he was a phone person or not, talking is very important to me
if I can't talk to someone and be interested in what they are saying, and have them at least attempt to be interested in what I'm saying
its pointless
********
you know another thing I've noticed, for men its either ALL or nothing, its either they have you in a relationship or you don't exist to them!
Burn and scottie, you are like diamonds in the rough!
you guys are cool, can lime with me, don't try to fill my head with incessant stupid compliments !
oh that's another thing I REALLY REALLY DO NOT like compliments! the stupid ones that mean absolutely NOTHING
and further more! when they draw my friends aside, to go on about how great I am, I hate that, I really hate that!
why is it men feel that they HAVE to piss you off, just so they can find out how you're going to react?
is it that people like to get you angry? God I hope that's not right
call me difficult self centered whatever
but if its ONE thing I cannot stand! its a fella who is trying to chat you up, who isn't even going to give you the respect to speak with you with most of his attention.
case in point, I met a guy who is exhibiting most signs of interest, wanting to keep in contact in some form, email, phone number etc, YET, whenever this does happen, communication or contact that is, you can tell he is doing something else, the conversation sounds disjointed, distracted.
now, I really wasn't concerned, (whole closed for stocktaking thing) but I did find it interesting that this guy (and he isn't the first) would act like he's interested, but then have piss poor conversations. I mean communication is the essence of relationships, any kind of relationship, and if people don't at least TRY to talk with each other, and get to understand each other all is lost!
so I asked him, (playing dumb and all) why do you call me and message me? what is your motive,
ME: tell me something
how come you call me and message me?
he says: i think you are a nice person and i would like to get to know you better.....maybe sometime we could go out
Me: but you never really speak to me its very VERY small talk
He says:i know
ME: in fact your friend talks to me more than you do
He says: i am not really a phone person it is not that i dont want to talk..........lately have been a bit busy........
Me: I see (SO WHY IS HE CALLING ME THEN IF HE'S BUSY???) fair enough
anyway have a good nite
He says:you sound upset.........are you? (My real man wouldn't have to ask that question!)
Me: oh no not at all just was unclear if you were attempting to be interested, why you seemed disinterested when you called
he says : i am interested.........are u? (hahah here you go!)
me: in you? to be honest you really haven't impressed me with how you're trying to impress me lack of attention so to speak not my kinda thing but apart from that I'm really not interested in getting involved with anyone
He says:ok.........i was not trying to impress you........just trying to get to know you
ME: no I don't think you were cuz your conversations weren't conversations
so you weren't trying to get to know me
we bantered for a while about whether he was a phone person or not, talking is very important to me
if I can't talk to someone and be interested in what they are saying, and have them at least attempt to be interested in what I'm saying
its pointless
********
you know another thing I've noticed, for men its either ALL or nothing, its either they have you in a relationship or you don't exist to them!
Burn and scottie, you are like diamonds in the rough!
you guys are cool, can lime with me, don't try to fill my head with incessant stupid compliments !
oh that's another thing I REALLY REALLY DO NOT like compliments! the stupid ones that mean absolutely NOTHING
and further more! when they draw my friends aside, to go on about how great I am, I hate that, I really hate that!
why is it men feel that they HAVE to piss you off, just so they can find out how you're going to react?
is it that people like to get you angry? God I hope that's not right
so I pulled an all niter
its amazing what a little bit of stress, four cups of coffee, a red bull and gatorade will do
it will keep you up
I don't even really feel to tired
It's the sheer panic
I tell you once I close my eyes I'll be freaking out that I'm wasting time!
7 days til the exam!
*whew*
BREATHE
BREATHE
BREATHE
its amazing what a little bit of stress, four cups of coffee, a red bull and gatorade will do
it will keep you up
I don't even really feel to tired
It's the sheer panic
I tell you once I close my eyes I'll be freaking out that I'm wasting time!
7 days til the exam!
*whew*
BREATHE
BREATHE
BREATHE
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
boy yesterday was a whopper of a day, I was blindsided by the news of Kregg Nurse's death, I mean I didn't even know that he was in the hospital.....I mean this guy used to come lime with the smirnoff ice girls real cool such a shame.....
yesterday was apparently the 5th anniversay of the Columbine shooting, and three months since my grandpa died
needless to say I was offset, for most of the day and not really knowing why....it was only til later on that I realised what yesterday was.
plus the fact that I'm actively stressing about my upcoming exams, and paper yes I know I played the ass this semester
but I REALLY REALLY REALLY don't want to fail anything!
surely that must count for SOMETHING!
:D
yesterday was apparently the 5th anniversay of the Columbine shooting, and three months since my grandpa died
needless to say I was offset, for most of the day and not really knowing why....it was only til later on that I realised what yesterday was.
plus the fact that I'm actively stressing about my upcoming exams, and paper yes I know I played the ass this semester
but I REALLY REALLY REALLY don't want to fail anything!
surely that must count for SOMETHING!
:D
Monday, April 19, 2004
Friday, April 16, 2004
cut grass always made her feel hungry
I sat down here trying to think of a story but it was as if the words of old stories wouldn't leave my fingers.
I want to write about how I feel, but I don't even know how I feel, my head is just filled with useless information to the point that when I try to put anything else in there....it won't fit.
I look up from my screen, does he know what he does to me? I mean does he really?
Its as if his eyes could just grab my attention, and anything else that happens are irrelevant or unnecessary.
there are so many qualities he has that remind me of someone special
I sat down here trying to think of a story but it was as if the words of old stories wouldn't leave my fingers.
I want to write about how I feel, but I don't even know how I feel, my head is just filled with useless information to the point that when I try to put anything else in there....it won't fit.
I look up from my screen, does he know what he does to me? I mean does he really?
Its as if his eyes could just grab my attention, and anything else that happens are irrelevant or unnecessary.
there are so many qualities he has that remind me of someone special
is true you know
sometimes you have to depend on yourself becuz when you really need someone's help that's the head time you can't find them
imagine I'm talking to someone about something fairly serious that happened to me today
and they gine just brush it off
and say I'm being selfish since I didn't even ask how their day went
I've been noticing this kinda trend
**********
I think as much as I would like to say its not true, its important for me to have someone that I can depend on, and even while I type this its like I'm fighting in myself becuz that seems like some kind of weakness
but, sometimes I may be too strong, and I'd like someone who can appreciate my strengths but realise when I need my own kind of comforting without making me feel like a 2 year old
sounds pretty paradoxical huh?
I think there is ONE guy who would understand that and be able to execute it as well!
*****
sometimes you have to depend on yourself becuz when you really need someone's help that's the head time you can't find them
imagine I'm talking to someone about something fairly serious that happened to me today
and they gine just brush it off
and say I'm being selfish since I didn't even ask how their day went
I've been noticing this kinda trend
**********
I think as much as I would like to say its not true, its important for me to have someone that I can depend on, and even while I type this its like I'm fighting in myself becuz that seems like some kind of weakness
but, sometimes I may be too strong, and I'd like someone who can appreciate my strengths but realise when I need my own kind of comforting without making me feel like a 2 year old
sounds pretty paradoxical huh?
I think there is ONE guy who would understand that and be able to execute it as well!
*****
Wednesday, April 14, 2004
I would like nothing more than to just relax
just stretch out on a bunch of cushions in front the tv and watch all of my favourite shows
with some food, and an endless supply of some form of liquid
it would be nice too if I could get a neck rub
or a foot rub
********
so one part of my legal degree for this semester is finished
had to hand in the memorial for one of my courses
DONE !
5 courses to go!
so now I have to finish another assignment
then I have 4 more exams! April 29-May13th!
then its LADIES NITE!
Daanz we celebrating your bday from the 13th yuh hear so clear ya calendar from THEN!
save up your money! make sure you have some cute clothes
cuz we going out and DE-STRESS!
don't feel we won't be feteing that nite too uh
just stretch out on a bunch of cushions in front the tv and watch all of my favourite shows
with some food, and an endless supply of some form of liquid
it would be nice too if I could get a neck rub
or a foot rub
********
so one part of my legal degree for this semester is finished
had to hand in the memorial for one of my courses
DONE !
5 courses to go!
so now I have to finish another assignment
then I have 4 more exams! April 29-May13th!
then its LADIES NITE!
Daanz we celebrating your bday from the 13th yuh hear so clear ya calendar from THEN!
save up your money! make sure you have some cute clothes
cuz we going out and DE-STRESS!
don't feel we won't be feteing that nite too uh
Tuesday, April 13, 2004
men will never change
and I say that for both ways
if you have a good guy he will always be a good guy, he'll get misguided and go down the wrong path, but invariably (I hope) he'll end back on the right one
bad guys now
will be like that FOREVER
can you believe! Trench has a gfriend, and believe me I am well over that guy, I was actually slightly happy(cuz I really could care less) when he told me
but you believe this idiot
pulled the same shit on me, that he did on his ex when we were going out
he's going to be like he misses things with me etc etc
so I said boy you know this all sounds VERY familiar
and if you aren't careful the same thing that happened with me will happen with this new girl
men don't realise they need to respect their women, when she's not infront them too!
and I say that for both ways
if you have a good guy he will always be a good guy, he'll get misguided and go down the wrong path, but invariably (I hope) he'll end back on the right one
bad guys now
will be like that FOREVER
can you believe! Trench has a gfriend, and believe me I am well over that guy, I was actually slightly happy(cuz I really could care less) when he told me
but you believe this idiot
pulled the same shit on me, that he did on his ex when we were going out
he's going to be like he misses things with me etc etc
so I said boy you know this all sounds VERY familiar
and if you aren't careful the same thing that happened with me will happen with this new girl
men don't realise they need to respect their women, when she's not infront them too!
Monday, April 12, 2004
Saturday, April 10, 2004
so here I am again
exams round the corner
this year I really am up shit creek tho
I mean last year given my emotional status I was just in the library CONSTANTLY
this year
I don't think I remember where to find the law journals!
God what have I done to myself!
anyway all is not lost its good to have friends!
pplz been giving me their old notes and collecting handouts for me
so its just for me to read them
READ THEM
that is the hard part
they soooooooo long and drawn out
I swear we doing the most boring topics this year
they so DRY
who cares if the court can grant a certiorari mandamus????
I certainly don't
exams round the corner
this year I really am up shit creek tho
I mean last year given my emotional status I was just in the library CONSTANTLY
this year
I don't think I remember where to find the law journals!
God what have I done to myself!
anyway all is not lost its good to have friends!
pplz been giving me their old notes and collecting handouts for me
so its just for me to read them
READ THEM
that is the hard part
they soooooooo long and drawn out
I swear we doing the most boring topics this year
they so DRY
who cares if the court can grant a certiorari mandamus????
I certainly don't
Friday, April 09, 2004
so first he says he don't want anything serious
BRILLIANT cuz I am most definitely STILL closed for stocktaking
INDEFINITELY!
now he says that he wants to do more meaningful things together
nigga please
I know that trick
I ain't want no meaningful times together for you to think I getting caught up
ban that!
man men are confused
for once I know what I want and what I definitely DO NOT want
and when I let the man know that
I jealous, (big joke) I trying to make things serious (bigger joke)
I mean I think I gine have to walk around with a sign saying
NOT INTERESTED and I MEAN IT!
BRILLIANT cuz I am most definitely STILL closed for stocktaking
INDEFINITELY!
now he says that he wants to do more meaningful things together
nigga please
I know that trick
I ain't want no meaningful times together for you to think I getting caught up
ban that!
man men are confused
for once I know what I want and what I definitely DO NOT want
and when I let the man know that
I jealous, (big joke) I trying to make things serious (bigger joke)
I mean I think I gine have to walk around with a sign saying
NOT INTERESTED and I MEAN IT!
Thursday, April 08, 2004
when someone has the ability to get under your skin and completely infuriate you
its one of two things
either this person is just very gifted at being an asshole
or for some assinine reason what this person thinks affects you
how DARE he make me feel this angry so easily and then have the nerve to say "I can't talk to you when you're like this, you're too moody and miserable, I have work to do"
wft
he makes me so angry I could hit him!
all men and I do mean this are barely worth the space they occupy
every last one of them in my experience has had some ulterior motive for anything they do
case in fucking point
he's going to tell me that I'm moody, and ask me if I'm rashole pms-ing
I mean there should be a friggin manual about this
if a man asks this even says pms beware of fireworks!
GOD!
I hate this feeling....I can't get angry and shout cuz if I do essentially what this asshole wants will be accomplished and that is to get to me!
so I have to simmer
deal with this shit
I can literally feel my blood pressure rising
its one of two things
either this person is just very gifted at being an asshole
or for some assinine reason what this person thinks affects you
how DARE he make me feel this angry so easily and then have the nerve to say "I can't talk to you when you're like this, you're too moody and miserable, I have work to do"
wft
he makes me so angry I could hit him!
all men and I do mean this are barely worth the space they occupy
every last one of them in my experience has had some ulterior motive for anything they do
case in fucking point
he's going to tell me that I'm moody, and ask me if I'm rashole pms-ing
I mean there should be a friggin manual about this
if a man asks this even says pms beware of fireworks!
GOD!
I hate this feeling....I can't get angry and shout cuz if I do essentially what this asshole wants will be accomplished and that is to get to me!
so I have to simmer
deal with this shit
I can literally feel my blood pressure rising
Wednesday, April 07, 2004
so
every so often you meet a fella and you just have to give the man props
props/stripes cuz he's just say stuff that is SO true minus the bullshit and everything
so I reason to the man
I don't want to be a girl that men reason is a heart breaker
and he says: that heartbreaker crap is bullshit
they just label her that cuz they weren't man enough to hold her down
................
for ONCE a man speaks the truth!
every so often you meet a fella and you just have to give the man props
props/stripes cuz he's just say stuff that is SO true minus the bullshit and everything
so I reason to the man
I don't want to be a girl that men reason is a heart breaker
and he says: that heartbreaker crap is bullshit
they just label her that cuz they weren't man enough to hold her down
................
for ONCE a man speaks the truth!
maybe its me
maybe I'm adding to this confusion and not really understanding what I'm doing
so everytime I think its the men
its really me
anyway
I think I gine do what a very smart girl said to do
release my part B
or rather embrace it
I done feeling sorry for men
done second guessing myself cuz I think I may be hurting someone
I haven't lied to anyone
I have no reason to
so we gine just leave it at that
maybe I'm adding to this confusion and not really understanding what I'm doing
so everytime I think its the men
its really me
anyway
I think I gine do what a very smart girl said to do
release my part B
or rather embrace it
I done feeling sorry for men
done second guessing myself cuz I think I may be hurting someone
I haven't lied to anyone
I have no reason to
so we gine just leave it at that
Friday, April 02, 2004
Monday, March 29, 2004
ok so here I am in Washington
I have to say I am REALLY excited to be in this competition
so far I met people from Serbia, Egypt, Pakistan, Poland the list goes on, there are teams from 80 countries
and everyone is so friendly and willing to conversate its GREAT
I love being in these intellectual things
all these bright minds! I LOVE IT!
well the stress level is ok with my team
one particular member like she freaking out but I tie that down to her being REALLY nervous and excitable
*shrug* so its not too bad
we're staying at the TABARD inn
quaint is TOO nice a description
its not bad but its like a 10 minute walk (IN THE COLD) to the competion hotel
and up something like 5 flights of stairs!
not cute
Washington is REALLY pretty
I was actually surprised I didnt' think it was so pretty
and on the road to the white house there are all these cherry trees blossoming it looks a little like snow on the mountain
REAL pretty
so we moot tomorrow (officially me and my partner) at 9, our team moots today tho at 4:30 so we'll be there in "court"!
I have to say I am REALLY excited to be in this competition
so far I met people from Serbia, Egypt, Pakistan, Poland the list goes on, there are teams from 80 countries
and everyone is so friendly and willing to conversate its GREAT
I love being in these intellectual things
all these bright minds! I LOVE IT!
well the stress level is ok with my team
one particular member like she freaking out but I tie that down to her being REALLY nervous and excitable
*shrug* so its not too bad
we're staying at the TABARD inn
quaint is TOO nice a description
its not bad but its like a 10 minute walk (IN THE COLD) to the competion hotel
and up something like 5 flights of stairs!
not cute
Washington is REALLY pretty
I was actually surprised I didnt' think it was so pretty
and on the road to the white house there are all these cherry trees blossoming it looks a little like snow on the mountain
REAL pretty
so we moot tomorrow (officially me and my partner) at 9, our team moots today tho at 4:30 so we'll be there in "court"!